Letdown Lessons: A Way to Land Up!

Unrelenting disappointment leaves you heartsick,

but a sudden good break can turn life around.

Proverbs 13: 12

 

 People disappoint. Situations don’t always turn out the way we’d like. Folks don’t always do right or treat you right. Family and others take advantage. Whether it’s a friend reneging on a promise, a client cancelling an engagement, a manager not following through on a personnel action or a family member not living up to expectations— these occurrences can sear your soul. Disappointment can shake the foundation of trust and sometimes dealing with it is hard.

            It’s also difficult to explain these types of emotional jabs that come with the territory of our trek to kids, but we must try.

            My youngest niece wanted to have a 13^th birthday party in August of 2010 and posted her invitation on Facebook. Only a few friends responded ‘yes’ and when they saw that others weren’t coming, they withdrew their responses to attend.

            She cancelled the party.

            Upset, my niece then went on Facebook the afternoon the party would’ve happened and saw that some of the invited kids were online. She was very hurt, posting comments to that effect and lashed out angrily. If they were online that meant they weren’t busy and could have come to the party. The reasons why some of the kids couldn’t attend were probably varied, but it didn’t matter to her. This was a huge disappointment at a special yet challenging time in her life. Turning 13 is a big deal, marking the teenage transition. This disappointment added to the loss of her “Nanny's sunset” a few months earlier—those emotions still tugging at her heart’s core—made this even tougher on her. I tried to encourage her and she put up a brave front. We also talked about her comments in reaction to the disappointment on Facebook. I pointed out that a forum as large as Facebook was probably not the best place to vent and suggested she put her special emotional thoughts in her journal instead.

            How will we settle our spirits after disappointment? 

            Thoughts such as “well, it happens”, “this too shall pass”, “I may be down but not out” or “every dog has his day” may provide some temporary relief. In my niece’s situation, the venting of her feelings served a purpose—she got the emotions out. I also encouraged her to think about the lessons her “Nanny” had shared with her about growing up. I wanted to support her during this time of need so I gave her a birthday card with a monetary gift enclosed in memory of her grandmother and I took her on a day trip to Virginia Beach. She was elated over my gestures. We had a fun aunt-niece day at the beach. Nothing like playing in the ocean to wash our sorrows off— we both needed it. When we got back from our trip my niece wrote on Facebook about her “awesome time” at the beach.

            After school started my niece took another step forward to shake off the birthday disappointment; she ran for and won an election for eighth grade class senator. 

            You go, girl!

           

            When we feel letdown, wait for the energy to mount up and conquer. The sun will rise again!

Excerpted from my motivational autobiography, Navigating Life’s Roadways: Stories of Insight from My Odyssey and Inspiration for Your Journey in print and Kindle eBook http://www.amazon.com/dp/B008FQDPYE