Friday, December 20, 2013

Be Victorious! Find Your Village to Celebrate


 


Frederick Douglass, Abolitionist

Celebrating victory at my first book signing in July 2011
 

            The paths we’ve trod tell our stories of triumph and we should tell them one by one, stride by stride. Whatever these stories are— no matter how big or small, they are ours.

             When I wrote my autobiography Navigating Life's Roadways, the anecdotes from my childhood and adult experiences reveal a plethora of  my struggles and successes. For instance, because I was raised in a house with no indoor bathroom or running water, it was certainly a glorious moment when I had a toilet inside the same place I lived. Now I even have a few. The flush is a win! My first job as a dishwasher at the cafe in my hometown of Waverly Virginia paid fifty cents an hour and now I make a little more than that! (Although between my schedule and the hours I keep being self-employed, there is no doubt there may be times when I still make fifty cents an hour!)

            At our family gatherings we laugh and reflect on the extremely difficult challenges of our past and revel in the at times not-as-difficult skirmishes of today. As the expression goes, “It’s all relative.” 

            Most of us can glance back and be in awe of the conquests made within our community of family and friends. Kids graduated. Promotions came. Cancer went into remission. Grandchildren finally arrived. Wrongly accused were exonerated. Churches were joined. Houses bought. Loans came through. Good jobs came along. Car started—again. Checks are in the mail. Opportunities are open. Laws passed. Times changed.

            I stop and rejoice in the overcoming—reaffirming the progress in our gathered and appointed places.

 
            We have earned the right to stand back and admire our fortitude. After all, finding the way forward requires much effort.
 
Excerpted from my motivational autobiography, Navigating Life’s Roadways: Stories of Insight from My Odyssey and Inspiration for Your Journey in print and Kindle eBook http://www.amazon.com/dp/B008FQDPYE
 

Thursday, November 21, 2013

Tend to Your Turn: Greens, Victory and Gratitude Await



 


With my late grandparents and tending gardeners at their 50th wedding
anniversary celebration in June 1982

Trust in the Lord with all your heart
    and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
    and he will make your paths straight

Proverbs 3:5-6

 

 

You must judge a man by the work of his hands.

African Proverb

 

 

Fresh collard greens reign as the caviar of the rural South, and no self-respecting African-American family gets through Thanksgiving or Christmas without some on the table. This was especially true in our household. I could count on the presence of these healthy greens at our holiday feasts, mainly because they grew in our garden.

My grandfather prided himself on producing the best bunches in town. In tending to that particular crop, he explained that the key was to never to pull them until after the first frost, usually sometime in November, right before Thanksgiving. Other vegetable-watchers agree that collards seem to be sweeter, tender, and more nutritious when nature’s timing and work restores them after a frost.

But what does this collard greens philosophy mean for us in life?

§  Nothing before it’s time.

§  Lay the groundwork, plant seeds, and plan.

§  You can reap the benefits of the best, if you but wait.

§  Let the natural order of life guide you.

       This concept falls in line with something our society is not used to these days, delayed gratification.  This notion that you will ‘have what you’re supposed to have when you’re supposed to have it’, doesn’t always fit in the multi-tasking, want it now behaviors of today.   Waiting tests our patience, particularly when we’re just ready for situations to be over, for news to come, or for something to fruition.

I also learned a lot about waiting from my family, particularly in our pre-Civil Rights era and small-town beginnings.  Because I was raised Baptist, I was also taught about the power of faith. Core to our religious beliefs, hope was the standard. As part of our ABC’s (always be constant) in praying for God’s plan and timing to be revealed, we stood fast. We had held out for opportunity, for laws to pass, and for a better day. Activists had boldly laid out a strategy, spreading leaves for change. And those better days did come, when it was our time and turn. The roots of a plan have righted and yielded sweet victories!

How can we further apply these principles to our own harvest?

 

If you believe within your heart
You'll know that no one can change
The path that you must go

Lyrics from “Believe in Yourself”, Performed by Lena Horne in The Wiz

 

As this banner year of 2013 made its way in, I experienced a few other truths about timing and turns. I attended New Year’s Eve or ‘watch night’ service at my church. The guest minister’s topic was “It’s My Time and My Turn.” She used Ecclesiastes 3:1, To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:, which I referenced in an earlier chapter of this book. One week later as I was listening to a radio broadcast from another church’s ‘watch night’ service, the preacher used the same scriptural reference. Then the following week, the same scenario of my listening to a religious programming from New Year’s Eve service and the preacher used the same scripture and same topic. Three times equal confirmation!

What did this mean?

So I’ve had an increase in work from the previous year (some greens) and published another book. One of my goals in waiting was to start doing more motivational talks to different groups. I was honored to speak at the Martin Luther King holiday program, on the day of President Obama’s 2nd inauguration in my town of residence, Leesburg Virginia. Journeying back to my hometown, I spoke for ‘Women’s Day’ at one of the local churches. One of my other books, For People of Strength, Soul, and Spirit: Seven Guidelines for Life & Career Success, was listed as suggested reading to an Ebony magazine article in March 2013. Just to name a couple of other victories, I attended the dedication of a statue to Frederick Douglas in Emancipation Hall of the US Capitol on Juneteenth and positioned myself at both 50th anniversary programs for the March on Washington. And….God called me to preach His word! I’m currently working on the process of getting licensed through my church, Mount Pleasant Baptist in Herndon Virginia.

My love of history, the Lord, my people, and my work has showed up in amazing ways— when He said so. A motto I developed for this year is Be Heard, Be Seen in 2013! With the Lord’s blessings, all of these pursuits will ‘enlarge my territory’ in the years to come.

So what are you waiting for? Plant it in your mind and reap in His appointed time.
 
Excerpted from my book, Tools to Cultivate the Promised Land: Working Wisdom from My Grandparents' Garden, November 2013 https://www.createspace.com/4302667
 
 

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Break Away! Lightening Our Life Baggage

Wherefore seeing we are compassed about with so
great a cloud of witnesses,let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us,
and let us run with patience the race set before us.

                                                                Hebrews 12:1

 

            I love to travel—a goal of mine being to explore as many of the world’s seven continents as possible. When wanderlust strikes, I look at the globe my mother gave me for Christmas years ago, asking myself, where to next? Once I decide, as any road warrior knows, careful packing and preparation for the trip are critical to match the right wardrobe to the trip’s intent. However, packing is still an area in which I need work. It takes me days to get my clothes and other items together—even for short trips. Seems like the older I get, putting the essential things in my luggage is more challenging— that list having expanded due to my need for more of a variety of items to attend to the signs of aging’s gifts.

              My ‘living large’ episode of packing came when I went on a three-month jaunt to Europe back in late 1986. The purpose of this journey was ‘to find myself,’ after leaving the army and two corporate jobs. Maybe some clarity would come to my life as I traversed the “old country” minus some of the daily pressures of work for a while.

            Organizing my packing list for the trip was a nightmare— as I tortured myself by continually thinking, what if I don’t take this and can’t find it in a foreign country, or the price may be three times what I would pay for it at home.  Trying to minimize the space-taker bulky pieces was also a challenge. Since the time of my excursion bordered the seasons of late fall entering winter, this meant I needed coats and sweaters—but how many or how heavy was reasonable?    

           My luggage of choice was an old Army duffle bag—good for cramming in numerous articles of clothing in its flexible fabric’s design. Then I decided another suitcase was needed for my overflow. Now the question, how would I carry these big pieces? I forgot that I would be lugging these bags through European airports, train stations, hotels and the houses of gracious friends and relatives. This was before the onslaught of rolling luggage options so you really got a workout grabbing and heaving your bags. Weight restrictions for checked bags and height-design limitations for carry-on pieces weren’t in place then either so it really was a ‘bring it all’ mindset.   Fortunately, my youngest brother was stationed in Italy and my sister along with others I knew were stationed throughout Germany. They all allowed me to leave luggage at their houses to lighten my cargo. Or as I shopped and added to my belongings, there were other things I decided to leave behind. Carrying too much baggage would’ve been cumbersome and diminished the joy of my trip. 

            And so it is on our journeys in life.

I’ve picked up trunks of good and bad experiences at various stops on my odyssey. Satchels of safety and love have kept my spirit in check at times but sent me spiraling into the emotional danger zone too.  Cases of career skills have provided opportunities for me to use passion and practicality in my work yet leave me on a low financial plain occasionally. I’ve carried on pieces of other folks’ issues when I should’ve left them behind.  In moving forward I think about the song “Ease on Down the Road” from the production of The Wiz which advises, “Don’t you carry nothing that might be a load.”

            How do we ‘shed the stuff’ that holds us back; that robs us of a lighter sense of peace? 

            Do we just keep piling it on, thinking every day is winter and we need the heavy things?

            Is there a (safe) place to leave it? What’s the cost if we don’t let go and trust?

            First we release to make space. Unpacking and leaving those experiences behind that only drag us down can unencumber our journey. Then we repack for better days. As the slogan for the New Year goes: ‘Out with the old and in with the new.’ This situates us for the next blessings in store. God and a host of angels are watching and cheering us on to get those blessings. We don’t have to lift our baggage alone. Faith gives us a place to unload. It’s located everywhere.


            Clear the load and travel lightly on in the races ahead. Identifying porters to help us can give us an extra boost when we need one. Run on!
 
Excerpted from my motivational autobiography, Navigating Life’s Roadways: Stories of Insight from My Odyssey and Inspiration for Your Journey in print and Kindle eBook http://www.amazon.com/dp/B008FQDPYE


 

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Navigating! For Success in Life: Letdown Lessons: A Way to Land Up!

Navigating! For Success in Life, Career and Business Pursuits: Letdown Lessons: A Way to Land Up!: Unrelenting disappointment leaves you heartsick, but a sudden good break can turn life around. Proverbs 13: 12     People d...

Letdown Lessons: A Way to Land Up!




Unrelenting disappointment leaves you heartsick,
but a sudden good break can turn life around.

Proverbs 13: 12

 

 People disappoint. Situations don’t always turn out the way we’d like. Folks don’t always do right or treat you right. Family and others take advantage. Whether it’s a friend reneging on a promise, a client cancelling an engagement, a manager not following through on a personnel action or a family member not living up to expectations— these occurrences can sear your soul. Disappointment can shake the foundation of trust and sometimes dealing with it is hard.

            It’s also difficult to explain these types of emotional jabs that come with the territory of our trek to kids, but we must try.

            My youngest niece wanted to have a 13th birthday party in August of 2010 and posted her invitation on Facebook. Only a few friends responded yes and when they saw that others weren’t coming, they withdrew their responses to attend.

            She cancelled the party.

            Upset, my niece then went on Facebook the afternoon the party would’ve happened and saw that some of the invited kids were online. She was very hurt, posting comments to that effect and lashed out angrily. If they were online that meant they weren’t busy and could have come to the party. The reasons why some of the kids couldn’t attend were probably varied, but it didn’t matter to her. This was a huge disappointment at a special yet challenging time in her life. Turning 13 is a big deal, marking the teenage transition. This disappointment added to the loss of her “Nanny's sunset” a few months earlierthose emotions still tugging at her heart’s core—made this even tougher on her. I tried to encourage her and she put up a brave front. We also talked about her comments in reaction to the disappointment on Facebook. I pointed out that a forum as large as Facebook was probably not the best place to vent and suggested she put her special emotional thoughts in her journal instead.

            How will we settle our spirits after disappointment? 

            Thoughts such as “well, it happens, “this too shall pass, “I may be down but not out” or “every dog has his day” may provide some temporary relief. In my niece’s situation, the venting of her feelings served a purposeshe got the emotions out. I also encouraged her to think about the lessons her “Nanny” had shared with her about growing up. I wanted to support her during this time of need so I gave her a birthday card with a monetary gift enclosed in memory of her grandmother and I took her on a day trip to Virginia Beach. She was elated over my gestures. We had a fun aunt-niece day at the beach. Nothing like playing in the ocean to wash our sorrows off— we both needed it. When we got back from our trip my niece wrote on Facebook about her “awesome time” at the beach.

            After school started my niece took another step forward to shake off the birthday disappointment; she ran for and won an election for eighth grade class senator. 

            You go, girl!

           
            When we feel letdown, wait for the energy to mount up and conquer. The sun will rise again!


Excerpted from my motivational autobiography, Navigating Life’s Roadways: Stories of Insight from My Odyssey and Inspiration for Your Journey in print and Kindle eBook http://www.amazon.com/dp/B008FQDPYE



 

Friday, July 26, 2013

9 REMINDERS FOR FRESHMEN: About Life And the World

I starting putting college talk in my nephew’s head early on in his life. His journey started a bit tough, but as a doting and honest aunt, I could see he had potential.  So he did eventually graduate high school, taking control of his future. Below are the comments from a letter I wrote to him as he embarked on his first year in college. These words modeled the same advice that had been given me by my mother and other family as I began that sojourn into full adulthood; commencing! As we enter this season of parents sending their children off to first year of college, hopefully this list of ponderings is timely tested for readers to share with their freshmen.

1.   Talk to God daily. He “orders your steps.”  You know he has brought you out of many situations and you see the miracles he has done for you.  I can’t say enough of how proud I am of how you.

2.  Life requires work; not many things come about easily.  “If you take one step, God will take two.”   Have a plan for what you want to do while at school, your holiday breaks, and summers.

3.  Things won’t always happen the way you want them to and when you want them to. “God may not come when you want, but he’s always right on time.”  Don’t rush life.  Let things happen for you in their time.  Be your age!!  If you don’t, you wind up being bored because you’ve experienced “too much, too soon.”

4. Make decisions carefully and well thought out ones.  Get good accurate information from a variety of sources to help you determine what you want to do and how you want to be.  I know you’re hearing a lot of different things from other students and friends.  Hear it, but don’t believe everything you hear. Check out the real truth with facts. Be your own person with a solid understanding of your own opinions and perspectives.

5.  Life has its good times and bad times, fun times and boring times for everyone.  No situation or place is ever perfect.

6.  Flexibility and an open mind are important.  And it is ok to change your mind about things. However be aware of any consequences involved about those things you may change your mind about.  Particularly any negative consequences that involve finances, your reputation, or upset your future.

7.  Friendship is one of the greatest gifts of life.  So make friends based on trust, respect, and shared values. Those will last longer.  And I feel your friendships will be so important to you as you get older especially since you’re an only child, your friends may eventually become your family.

8.  Explore new hobbies and interests that have lifelong value as well as variety and can get you through the ups and downs of life whether you’re in good health or not, have money or not, have people to do things with or not.   Things I learned to do as a kid and while in college provide me with entertainment now.  I read when I can’t be outside, I bike when I want to enjoy the outdoors, like to play tennis and splash in the water, learning to play golf, enjoy talking to good friends on the phone, and as you know love to eat and enjoy dining out.

9. Remember, you are blessed, loved by God, family, and friends!!

Sunday, June 23, 2013

Saturday, May 25, 2013

Navigating! For Success in Life, Career and Business Pursuits: Memorial Day: Honoring The Ancestors of a Differen...

Navigating! For Success in Life, Career and Business Pursuits: Memorial Day: Honoring The Ancestors of a Differen...: “I would fight for my liberty so long as my strength lasted, and if the time came for me to go, the Lord would let them take me.” Harr...

Memorial Day: Honoring The Ancestors of a Different Battle

“I would fight for my liberty so long as my strength lasted, and if the time came for me to go, the Lord would let them take me.”
 
            My maternal grandfather, Joseph (Joe) Everett Parker, Sr., honored our history and this holiday in a different way.  On Memorial Day during the 1960s, the children of the family accompanied him on an ancestral voyage.  We went to the burial grounds of his parents and other relatives, some who were born slaves or in the reconstruction era. Here he honored their service. Because they had fought for racial freedom, persevering and sacrificing in the most horrid of conditions. I call them ‘old soldiers’ too, experienced on the battlefield of life.
            The grave sites were located way back off a rural road, some 15 miles or so from our home in Waverly Virginia.  In preparation for the trip my grandfather loaded up his tools to attend to the publicly neglected graves. At that time, black people could not be buried in our town’s cemetery. So most of the graves were located out in the "country" on traditional church grounds or old family sites. 
            As rather adventurous children who loved treats, we were excited about these outings with my grandfather for a couple of reasons. This was another chance to be away from home while enjoying the outside. And as part of this ritual my grandfather stopped at the local store and bought the makings for a good sandwich; bread, baloney, mayonnaise, and grape Nehi sodas—our favorite ‘poor folks’ snack.          
            Back then the significance of this cemetery ritual was lost on our young minds.  We watched my grandfather clear the weeds and wild growth from the place where his folks lay.  Delicately, he touched the mounds of dirt with his hoe or pitchfork, clearing the brush as he went about his task.  This was a sacred place. After the work was done, my grandfather bent his head.  He cried.  He prayed.  He paid homage to the souls of our kindred spirits.  In spite of his exhibits of strength and occasional “hell raising”, my grandfather was at times a very sentimental and emotional man. I value this understanding about my grandfather.
            Joe Parker’s sense of history and roots were firm and unknowingly he passed it down through the generations in a special way. I remember, this is an important part of our legacy. And I write about these unsung and enduring heroes whose acts of bravery in the enemy’s camp for humanity have made my progress so. They won!
 
Excerpted from my upcoming book, TOOLS TO CULTIVATE THE PROMISED LAND: Working Wisdom from My Grandparent’s Garden, October 2013
 
 
With my grandfather in 1982

Monday, March 25, 2013

Your Breakthrough! Courageous Against The Block




Don't judge a book by its cover.

American proverb

           

            It really did happen. 

            On November 4, 2008 and November 6, 2012 Barack Hussein Obama was elected to be the 44th and 45th President of the United States of America. Challenging the historical model of who should be a Commander-In-Chief, then Senator Obama rallied voters from all ends of the demographic spectrum. Using social media and accompanying technology, his campaign reached out and touched people in profound and purposeful ways.

            In observing President Obama’s approach I was reminded of William Shatner’s voice at the beginning of the popular Star Trek shows.  As Captain Kirk, Shatner states the mission for the crew of the Enterprise: “To boldly go where no man has gone before.” President Obama dared the political ship with his election— navigating it in warp drive. He stretched the bounds of his beginning.

            President Obama put together and sealed this successful box of ambition.

            Sometimes other people will use every tool at their disposal to stuff us in a box— not quite sure what to make of us if we don’t fit the mold of the moment. Periodically we voluntarily seal the box – thinking there’s no way out. Judgments on our GPS: Goals, Positions and Skills, can often misdirect us. We may bypass a potential destination that holds an opportunity, driving by and thinking, “That wasn’t my stop.”  Or “It doesn’t fit what I thought it should look like.”

            I’ve encountered workshop participants who find it difficult to get promoted or enter new career fields. Pigeonholing based on someone else’s assumptions regarding their abilities is often a factor. I encourage them to adapt a “Yes I can!” rally to action. To be their own box-cutter when someone tries to seal the deal on your future.

            Then I give them more alphabet soup to consider.

            Write your own SOP (Standard Operating Procedure) on how to get out of that box. You can come through for you—so determine when.  On our journeys we travel different times of the 24 hour cycle—each with its prompts and purposes.  In the dawn we can see a new day unfold the goal of starting. During the day we busy ourselves with tasks of the action plan. At twilight what’s done has met the reason of the day. Darkness provides its own special covering and sometimes we’re forced to voyage at night – to stay on our campaign trail.

            What time is best? Where am I situated? What do I want to ship?

            Using our IPS (Internal Positioning System) will point the way.

           

            UPS (Uninformed People Stoppers) may try to ship us to the wrong address.  I say bust out of the package and engage!  Recover. Put your personal date stamp on. Reship to a new place. Then use the marketing concept of USP—and ground your Unique Selling Position. Square it off!
 
Excerpted from my motviational autobiography, Navigating Life’s Roadways: Stories of Insight from My Odyssey and Inspiration for Your Journey http://www.amazon.com/dp/B008FQDPYE (print and Kindle eBook) narratives of dealing with life’s setbacks and successes

 

Monday, February 25, 2013

Navigating! For Success in Life, Career and Business Pursuits: Success: Define and Claim the Destination

Navigating! For Success in Life, Career and Business Pursuits: Success: Define and Claim the Destination: Let’s look at the definition of success itself. For each of us it can be different, based on who and where we are and how we dream of t...

Success: Define and Claim the Destination

Let’s look at the definition of success itself. For each of us it can be different, based on who and where we are and how we dream of the future. From employment in a job or career that provides fulfillment, to the ability to take care of a family, to economic stability, to being a good neighbor, to being respected in the community and place of worship, to being in good physical health or having solid, loving relationships—the range of how success is defined is personal.

            Prosperity on these important fronts brings its own richness to life; degreed or not, color of the collar in your work situation, address of your residence, cash flow stuck or surging, bounty or barely holding on. Recognize your personal obligations that prevent or propel. You call your life as you see it. Are you in a sweet enriching spot or rotting hole? Prosperity can be rooted in the emotional—peace of mind or strong faith. No locked in worries. Passionate about other your interests or hobbies? Satisfied or wanting a change? Your choice and your challenge. Figure and define.

            Our ambitions along with our own measure of strength, soul, and spirit add to the meaning of success. To claim this status, let’s start by discovering and working on eliminating any barriers to our personal progress.

            Are you stationed and ready?


Make It Your Vision


“Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world.”

Harriet Tubman

Conductor, The Underground Railroad


            Whatever success looks like in time, energy, money, effort or even loss, make the picture of your envisioned reality as plain as it needs to be. Imagine your career … Imagine your family …

            The dream triggers this new thing that you want. Measureable and to the point is how to capture this goal. Questions to ask yourself are: How badly do you want … ? What am I willing to go through to get it?

            Only you have the answer.

            As Earth, Wind and Fire sing, “Keep your head to the sky.”

            Dream. Imagine. Take a risk.


Back On Track? The Way Forward


            First, fortify for the opposing forces and be sure you know the truth about yourselves, and your purpose. Read positive, recent, and industry targeted information. Don't rely solely on the local newspaper or the broadcasts for accurate accounts of your life or situation in America. Proceed with caution with some of the online sites. Be ready and resilient in pursuing what’s for you.  Rightly know your personal constitution. Use your IPS (internal positioning system) to guide you.

            We now become the Griots of our struggles and story. Having our own main track of information is a great place to start! Shoulder these pillars as your guidelines and go. Find your beacon. Help yourself and others continuously along the way. Pace yourself. Be gentle. Realize that sometimes along the way we all need a little PUSH.

Purpose, Understanding, Support, Healing.