Birth of a Book: Navigating Life's Roadways

My first booksigning of Navigating Life's Roadways in 2011

 

Life is a message – listen to it. Life is a belief – trust it. Life is a gift – accept it.

Life is love – think about it. Life is an adventure – dare it.

                                   Northern Sotho proverb, South Africa

 

 

My first book, Navigating Life's Roadways: Stories of Insight From My Odyssey and Inspiration for Your Journey, was a charge and blessing from above.

Writing it had been on my radar for a while.

I remember first mentioning my authorship intent to family and friends about 16 years ago. Then I started writing—capturing life’s glories and challenges as I saw them.  A few years later as I exclaimed this vision to others, the comments ranged from supportive to discouraging—but I wasn't necessarily deterred. Continuing to write, I cataloged more stories as my life’s map unfolded.

 Just speaking the words of my writing goal gave this project life – sprouting the seeds. God gradually put a series of experiences in my life—some great and some not so great with professional, spiritual and personal accounts—to get me to this point. Responses and residue from the issues of family and friends gave me new insights for addressing the travails of my odyssey. Participants in my workshops—through their comments and questions—validated my thoughts of writing this book and alerted me that so many of us are struggling and looking for answers. The rollercoaster nature of the social, political and economic climate of this country pointed to a need for new maps to circumvent these troubled times. My own life's missteps started to reveal instructive destinations…and this book evolved.

Through the years I stayed on Persistence Parkway—revisiting what I’d written, attending writer’s groups and keeping the goal alive. I also stopped at Waiting Wall to assess where I was on my path and then tweak my manuscript. The original writings focused on everyone else's story. When I showed this manuscript my oldest brother, he asked me why I didn’t share more of my life. He said, "People like to read about other people’s lives…” and I'd done many positive things in spite of our rough beginnings and he was proud of me. My brother reemphasized the fact that we all have a story to tell. Not long after that conversation I attended the funeral of a saved saint—an old friend of my family's. The choir sang her favorite hymn, "Tell it When You Get it Right”.

God was allowing me to tell my story and the time is right.

             Along with the other teachings from my journey’s wanderings.

        

            The starting point of my odyssey is my hometown of Waverly Virginia, where the stories focus on the foundations laid on the roads I first trod with my family, faith and community structure.  Proceeding to other major avenues such as school (because I liked Williamsburg so much I wound up going to college there), relationships and careers — I then periodically circle back to my childhood in later narratives.

I also penned the major parts of this book in the year of some personal and extremely pivotal life events.

My mother passed away on March 10,2010  and the agonies of the grieving process were tremendous; a surreal event that’s been devastating on all fronts for me.

In this process I discovered that we give to fill a void. I am single and don’t have children, so birthing this book is one of the ways I hope to leave a footprint on the world. Since my mother passed, I’ve felt a chasm of many emotional proportions. Yet the process of grieving her transition gave to this book in ways I couldn’t recognize at first. She left a legacy in the circle of life.

             Once I was led to and committed to writing, energies from everywhere cooperated—seems like phrases, memories and lessons abounded at every corner. My mother knew of my writing aspirations and I feel this creative force was her way of working through God to stir up my spirit. While out walking, ideas would flood my head as I looked at the sky or the landscape around me. I’d hurry back to my office and quickly capture the thoughts—adding fresh words to the manuscript on my computer.

 

            This journey to publication continued and I've since written four other books, they too part of a birthing process that started over 20 years ago.  Remember birthing can be painful, but the yield worth it.  Keep pushing on!  Be clear on a destination for the results....

  Excerpted from my motivational autobiography, Navigating Life’s Roadways: Stories of Insight from My Odyssey and Inspiration for Your Journey in print and Kindle eBook http://www.amazon.com/dp/B008FQDPYE

Charge! Four Routes to Your Leadership and Life Purpose

There are those who look at things the way they are, and ask why…I dream of things that never were, and ask why not?
Robert F. Kennedy

What centers and lights the way for you at your place of being in charge? How do you map your way through life?

Organizational mission statements and strategic plans are designed to provide this scope. In life, we may be faced with many battles. Going up our own rough side of the mountain, it’s important to know why we’re climbing. Is there a vision?

Many events in life are ordained, part of our purpose, and they may involve suffering before victory. Leaders need to be on point. Parents need to be focused. An outcome must be sought, dreams turned into reality. Both are sources for guidance and direction, all for achieving the objective.

For the military, no war is fought without a purpose and a plan. During battle, the purpose is to support and defend while staying alive, willing to sacrifice if necessary, proud to serve!

Cause and direction are essential. This scope is to be drilled down to the lowest level, orienting soldiers to the mission and how to take action. Trickling even further, soldiers are issued a compass as a tool to help them orient themselves to where they are and traverse the battlefield. GPS technology also supports this effort in current times. You can’t win without direction and battle orders.

            Driving was also another area that surfaced quite often in our family gatherings. With two uncles that were long haul truck drivers and another one who traversed the country for his military assignments, I too took on the messages from the open road.  Metaphorical and purposeful, driving offers insights geared to continuing the charge in leadership and life.

            There were four strategies I gleaned from him for the long haul:

 

1.      Define where you are going. So set the coordinates.

 

It starts with a vision.

. “Keep your eyes to the sky,” one of my uncles advised as I took on my first long distance road trip. “Read the directional signs and know the name of the next big location or city you’re headed to. Continue to check your map before you get on the road, and each time you stop for a break, familiarize yourself with your route. This will keep you from getting lost out there. You’ll be all right.”

I was—trip successful.

Lesson link. Put a plan in motion with relevant and actionable steps. Where do you want to go and how do you get there? Be very clear on your coordinates.

 

2.      Open all lanes for learning.

Mistakes, setbacks, and disappointments are inevitable. What will you do with that knowledge? Gridlock and resistance show up. We will have learning curves for him when it comes to earning buy-in from those we lead.

3. Don’t be afraid to change destination.

Steer on in spite of roadblocks and potholes such as the economy, a career shift, or lost resources. Find a new route. Use another skill to still be of service.

4. Crank your motivation motor constantly.

Be driven and self-motivated to remain on course. Keep the fuel ignited. Think about why you’re there as a leader. Do you have a passion for your deliverables? Is there a link to your life purpose? Does it afford the flexibility or income potential you seek?

Excerpted from my book, Hardcore Leadership: 11 Master Lessons from My Airborne Ranger Uncle’s “Final Jump”   http://www.amazon.com/dp/1479324760

 

 

Farewell to 2012: Expedition Endings and Beginnings

Hope does not kill; I shall live and get what I want one day.

Zulu proverb

 

On a vacation to the island of Maui back in 2002, I went on a sunrise biking tour of Haleakala, the world’s largest dormant volcano. This expedition was exciting from the outset. At 2 a.m. the tour company’s van picked me up from my hotel, and then whisked me to their office to be fitted for my bike and other gear. From there we headed to the 10,000 foot summit of Haleakala and once we arrived, sat in the van and waited—trying to keep warm. The temperature at the summit stays at 40 degrees. That’s why bikers get outfitted with gloves and other pieces at the tour operator’s office— to ward off the mountainous cold on top of the volcano. They also advised me to dress in layers.

So what was I waiting for at o-dark-30? To view the sunrise peaking brilliantly over the neighboring eastern island of Hawaii out across the expansive Pacific—this sight one of the highlights of this early morning tour.  And it was beautiful and spiritual to see.

After the ooh and ahh’s of the sun’s arrival, the tour group prepared to bring us down the craterous volcano on the bikes. With safety briefings and equipment checks done—it’s time to maneuver the switchbacks on my bike until we reach sea-level. Swerving and curving on the bike, I paced myself behind the safety instructor as we pummeled downward while enjoying Maui’s vistas along the way.  We made a few rest stops to include a lunch break— then some four hours later, we arrived at a Pacific beach. Shedding the cold weather gear and layers that were needed for the dawn’s heights, we now settled into the 80-plus degrees. Ready to dive in the ocean, I reflected on this safe adventure and basked in the Hawaiian culture.

I had always wanted to travel to Hawaii on vacation and now I’d done it. My time there was wonderful as I explored the beauty of this 50^th state.  But I also looked forward to my return to the mainland. I don’t think I could live in Hawaii. Yet I hope to go back again.

At the end of any journey we stop and assess.

After spending money on a vacation we ponder did I have a good time? When a career or job is over we reflect on, what skills did I pick up from this opportunity? We come back from a shopping trip and summate did I get what I want? When time with family or friends is over we ask was my visit a good one?

Then we take refuge before launching out again, ISO (In Search Of) or (In Spite Of) because life dictates that we don’t stop but keep going—we try to…

This is what I’ve done in Navigating Life’s Roadways.

The phrases embedded in my journeys’ assessments are…

·         Then I got back on course

·         My energy sent me this way

·         A return to my sanity got me doing this

·         I went back to what I know

·         The Lord is guiding me

·         Redo, morph, return, ponder and reinvent

 

These are also words for continued focus that show up on my roads and in my spaces.

 

Navigate, Synchronize, Rudder, Beat the Bushes, Negotiate, Stay the Course, Walk the Path, Stand Firmly on Your Ground

 Recognize your IPS (Internal Positioning System) and engage your GPS (Goals, Positions, Situations)

 

Enjoy the beauty and blight that make up life’s ever evolving trails. Hang with the emotions of your journey’s high-grounds and low-grounds. Push when necessary, pause to reflect and pray for strength. Keep hope near and embrace love.

This piece is excerpted from my book, Navigating Life's Roadways; Stories of Insight from My Odyssey and Inspiration for Your Journey  http://www.amazon.com/dp/B008D6RJ0M

 

Navigating Life's Roadways: Inspirational Author Interview

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/not-my-reality-live/2012/12/18/moments-of-conversation-guest-debra-parker-author

Press On! 3 Ways to Sync Your IPS (Internal Positioning System) to Destination Success

How do we find the “true north” to achieving our goals?

The reality is that in moving on down the roads of our journeys, we gain and lose ground. All is aligned with great momentum one moment. Then in the next we get misdirected and wonder how we’ll find our way. And most times we eventually do get there, somehow. Leading us to ponder, is there a life GPS to keep us on course?

I’ve surmised that we all have an IPS (Internal Positioning System) to steer us. If we engage it. Just like an automobile’s navigation system— with its GPS, dashboard and features— we too can punch in coordinates for where we want to go in life. We have attributes, strengths and limitations that direct us. Our motivations, habits or wits contribute to how we handle the inevitable bumpy roads. Destinations for our career, family, health, quality of life or relationship goals – we can arrive at these places, based on how we deploy the elements of our IPS’s dashboard.

Yet, I’ve found that this IPS, like GPS technology, has worked for me sometimes and malfunctioned others. In my car, when the quirky voice of the dashboard is silent, I check to see if the GPS is on. Particularly if I’m in unfamiliar territory.  In my life, if I’m not adhering to right messages, I sense a system failure; the signal for me then is that maybe my IPS is not on.  I feel lost, literally, on my life quest. Is this a place I need to explore more, I question. 

OR

Maybe I need to Press!

So what are three parts of the on button for syncing that IPS?

The road I grew up on

1.      Discover Your Unique Routing. Understanding how our life works in terms of its unique cycles and circumstances provides a map for focus. Why so? Knowing the design of our route helps us navigate and heed the messages in the hills and potholes of life.  I have come to realize that an off road collision in a low place is part of my special path before I slowly make my way out to higher ground and another level that God has waiting for me. Also moving through the roadways of our journey we hold different emotions and experiences that bring out our strengths as well as our frailties. At times, I get sidetracked here, but this history accumulates, becoming my cargo as I launch in another direction. Whether it’s good or bad we all carry this load. And it can keep us on a realistic route, as we define success.

 

2. What’s the Force That’s With You? This IPS is part of our drive, an engine that fuels us every day. It takes us through storms and other bad conditions. Our IPS is composed of  ‘gifts and wits’, perspectives, willingness to admit and learn from mistakes, humor, gratitude, wisdom, faith and the list…goes on.  These are the blocks of our being, in varying quantities. A good deal of this force comes from our early life values and grounding. Raised poor, Baptist, in a rural town, but instilled with hope for better times, and family who encourage me to “git my lessin”, equipped me to set out on my sojourns of twists and turns. With accomplishments and failures. There's power in both of these for us, ignited from this combustible combination.

3.      Recognize Your Hardwiring. What’s inbred in our natural circuits? There’s a DNA that makes and shapes us to be. I often share that at my core, I’m the oldest child product of a determined single parent teen mother. With no excuses, she burrowed her way through many adversities on her journey. After she passed in 2010, I reflected on what she’d left me, spiritually.  I share in my motivational memoir, Navigating Life’s Roadways, that she provided an example of sheer will and a strong work ethic for me. And I think of this when I get stuck or waylaid in my life. She taught me to drive, pass some of life’s tests and now has turned the steering wheel over to me— to keep going. The operating hardware and software of her IPS (Internal Positioning System) spiritually resides on my dashboard, with God —my ever present Pilot, the main engaging button.   I've found that there's an automatic syncing coming out of this type of recognition, which will stand the hard inspections of  our many journeys.

Press On Through Storms, Sync your Success and Drive to Your Best!