Navigating Life's Mountains and Valleys

Out hiking in 1982

Not sure what 2017 will bring but know that with God's help, I can climb every mountain! And every valley provides its own type of lessons.  Through it all I know who I can depend on to guide me in navigating strong...A  GPS of God Provided Safety!

The Life Journey and Matters of Money

He who knows how to be poor knows everything.
Michelet, French historian

            My beginnings as a ‘poor black child’ provided me a few insights about all things financial. Watching my mother and grandparents constantly trying to ‘make ends meet’ was a tricky as well as tedious process. But they did it— we were sheltered, fed and clothed. For them money wasn’t just about the dollar bills. There were many non-monetary ways that helped our family survive.

        Connecting with neighbors to borrow and lend were well used methods that mattered. “Can I get $5 from you until I get paid?” was a question that could come from anyone. There was no ATM; instead it was ‘ANM - Ain’t No Money.’ Checks floated and crashed. Reserve funds were limited to quarters tied up in a handkerchief that the adults pulled out as a last resort. I watched my family share resources such as food or household items with others in need even when we didn’t have much—literally ‘counting pennies’, or measuring cups of sugar.  

            As kids, when we went to the local store, we learned how to bargain with each other or make loans when someone else didn’t have enough for their treat. Sometimes we were entrepreneurial—collecting soda bottles to turn in for money. A nickel could buy you a soda or candy bar back then.  If you had a quarter, you felt your ‘ship had come in’!

            My mother and grandmother sold boxes or tins of candy and at times used the ‘green stamp’ exchange to acquire funds or household items. Lay-a-way programs with the local merchants gave my mother and grandparents a way to purchase needed clothing or household items over a period of time. This was their planning method, requiring them to look ahead for our needs. Stewardship in church, whether it was putting a nickel in our offering envelope or helping count money from the collection plate, was emphasized as a way of giving to the Lord.

            These experiences provided a mindset for elements of my financial strategy: Share, improvise, prioritize, identify resources and plan when you can.

            When I worked for fifty cents an hour at my first job at the Waverly Diner, I used my $20 dollar a week salary to buy my school clothes and share some of the money with my family.  The next summer I got a raise to sixty cents an hour because I moved up from dishwashing to grill cooking. Boy was I excited. A 20% salary increase!            Financially, my attendance at William and Mary was made possible through the existence of educational grants, academic scholarships and national defense student loans that were available as part of a federal education thrust for minorities in the early 1970s. Yes, government handouts got me through college with the funds for tuition, room and board. It was definitely advantageous for me to be poor, black and smart.

            A part-time job at the college post office provided through a work-study program helped me pay for other educational and personal survival expenses.

            Mirroring what I’d seen in our household growing up, I willingly worked hard, used available resources and shared.

            During the summers between my years in college I worked at the chemical factory with my mother. This was definitely a better opportunity for making money to keep my school needs met and still help my family. That foundation of principles and skills to use in other monetary situations that I’d learned in my youth continued to build. Sacrifice and don’t hoard. 

But as the years went by I also started the gaining and losing cycle of dealing with money.           Even still I went back to school, realizing another degree would help in my career and business pursuits. I decided to use my MasterCard over a two-year period to finance this master’s program. I was also able to secure a part-time job on the campus. Win-learn! Once my training/consultants projects stabilized and rewards were reaped, I was able to pay off my credit cards. “Money spent on the brain is never spent in vain,” according to an English proverb.

            In continuing to watch my own and others’ financial issues through the years, I’ve come to several conclusions. We can’t separate ourselves from living life by building our personal Fort Knox. Yes, in looking out for our financial future, saving and finding ways to create wealth is important. However, ‘tomorrow isn’t promised’ so enjoy what you can for today and splurge a little. Earn money while reaping joy and making memories too. 

            Share, improvise, prioritize, identify resources and plan when you can.

Excerpted from my motivational autobiography, Navigating Life’s Roadways: Stories of Insight from My Odyssey and Inspiration for Your Journey in print and Kindle eBookhttp://www.amazon.com/dp/B008FQDPYE

            

Success Street: Find Your Unique Position

Every day of your life is a page of your history.

 Arabic proverb

            Success is……I am successful because…I will achieve success when….

            How do you spell success?  “Setbacks Uncovered, Ceasing Control, Excelling Serious Superstar” Sounds good, doesn’t it?

            We’ve all had a win.

            A turn down a new street made some pursuit easy. The right is ours to define what achievements are most measureable and memorable for us.

            Everyone was not meant to have the perfect family, career, finances or material things. Nor do we all want them.  But for each of us there is a unique formula that adds up to a meaningful, productive and constructive journey. In some way we’ve overcome a challenge, let go of a ‘bad trip’ or found a right way.

            In someone’s view, we’re the best ……

            Fill in, keep driving and seeking to form your success.

           

            As we view the film of our lives, let’s claim every win a blockbuster. Visit your Broadway!


Excerpted from my motivational autobiography, Navigating Life’s Roadways: Stories of Insight from My Odyssey and Inspiration for Your Journey in print and Kindle eBookhttp://www.amazon.com/dp/B008FQDPYE

Charting Your Life Journey: An Odyssey of Lessons

 Even his griefs are a joy long after to one that remembers all that he wrought and endured.
Homer, The Odyssey

 

When I was in undergraduate school I took a course in Greek Literature. It was not my favorite subject, but I did find myself fascinated with some of the writings—in particular The Odyssey by Homer. The term “odyssey” continued to show up in my life through other readings or programs. And as I’ve gotten older, I found that this word appropriately describes acts of my life’s journey.

            The Random House Dictionary defines an odyssey as "any long series of wanderings, especially when filled with notable experiences, hardships, etc."  For those who may not be familiar with Homer’s piece, it chronicles the journey, setbacks and protection of its warrior main character, Odysseus.

 As in the expression ‘art imitates life,’ many others may be able to identify with the lessons of this epic tale. If not The Odyssey, there’s Alice in Wonderland, The Wizard of Oz, The Lion King or many other foundational life stories on traveling roads, falling down, facing who we are and getting back home, while reflecting on the interactions with the people we’ve met along the way. Writings on faith, spirituality and religion enlighten us to some of the same messages.

In thinking about our own encounters or events, we realize that in sometimes mysterious yet circuitous ways, these messages serve to shape and mold us much like the characters of these works. Understanding the past is most times a key element in making sense of the present. As we celebrate and prosper, suffer and learn or rise and fall through these ordeals, we come into what is the beauty along with the complexity of our earthly existence. Usually that takes time. 

 

 

This world we travel presents paths with faults, barrenness and cracks while also offering its bounty of growing seasons, plants and flowers. The seasons will change and so will the conditions. We trek across this land encountering people and places, sometimes stopping and restarting. Moving through phases of our odyssey at given points we may ask: Where am I?  We look at where we’ve traveled and ask: What’s behind me?  Is this the best way ahead? What’s before me?  Side trips will take us into new territory, providing new ground and spaces to explore. We’ll cross and burn bridges. Our thoughts may also focus on places to avoid. We may even ask which stops are necessary.

I encourage each of us to explore our own odyssey and the lessons that lie within, even from our various forms of grief. The yield for our future can be tremendous!

 

 

 

 

Birth of a Book: Navigating Life's Roadways

My first booksigning of Navigating Life's Roadways in 2011

 

Life is a message – listen to it. Life is a belief – trust it. Life is a gift – accept it.

Life is love – think about it. Life is an adventure – dare it.

                                   Northern Sotho proverb, South Africa

 

 

My first book, Navigating Life's Roadways: Stories of Insight From My Odyssey and Inspiration for Your Journey, was a charge and blessing from above.

Writing it had been on my radar for a while.

I remember first mentioning my authorship intent to family and friends about 16 years ago. Then I started writing—capturing life’s glories and challenges as I saw them.  A few years later as I exclaimed this vision to others, the comments ranged from supportive to discouraging—but I wasn't necessarily deterred. Continuing to write, I cataloged more stories as my life’s map unfolded.

 Just speaking the words of my writing goal gave this project life – sprouting the seeds. God gradually put a series of experiences in my life—some great and some not so great with professional, spiritual and personal accounts—to get me to this point. Responses and residue from the issues of family and friends gave me new insights for addressing the travails of my odyssey. Participants in my workshops—through their comments and questions—validated my thoughts of writing this book and alerted me that so many of us are struggling and looking for answers. The rollercoaster nature of the social, political and economic climate of this country pointed to a need for new maps to circumvent these troubled times. My own life's missteps started to reveal instructive destinations…and this book evolved.

Through the years I stayed on Persistence Parkway—revisiting what I’d written, attending writer’s groups and keeping the goal alive. I also stopped at Waiting Wall to assess where I was on my path and then tweak my manuscript. The original writings focused on everyone else's story. When I showed this manuscript my oldest brother, he asked me why I didn’t share more of my life. He said, "People like to read about other people’s lives…” and I'd done many positive things in spite of our rough beginnings and he was proud of me. My brother reemphasized the fact that we all have a story to tell. Not long after that conversation I attended the funeral of a saved saint—an old friend of my family's. The choir sang her favorite hymn, "Tell it When You Get it Right”.

God was allowing me to tell my story and the time is right.

             Along with the other teachings from my journey’s wanderings.

        

            The starting point of my odyssey is my hometown of Waverly Virginia, where the stories focus on the foundations laid on the roads I first trod with my family, faith and community structure.  Proceeding to other major avenues such as school (because I liked Williamsburg so much I wound up going to college there), relationships and careers — I then periodically circle back to my childhood in later narratives.

I also penned the major parts of this book in the year of some personal and extremely pivotal life events.

My mother passed away on March 10,2010  and the agonies of the grieving process were tremendous; a surreal event that’s been devastating on all fronts for me.

In this process I discovered that we give to fill a void. I am single and don’t have children, so birthing this book is one of the ways I hope to leave a footprint on the world. Since my mother passed, I’ve felt a chasm of many emotional proportions. Yet the process of grieving her transition gave to this book in ways I couldn’t recognize at first. She left a legacy in the circle of life.

             Once I was led to and committed to writing, energies from everywhere cooperated—seems like phrases, memories and lessons abounded at every corner. My mother knew of my writing aspirations and I feel this creative force was her way of working through God to stir up my spirit. While out walking, ideas would flood my head as I looked at the sky or the landscape around me. I’d hurry back to my office and quickly capture the thoughts—adding fresh words to the manuscript on my computer.

 

            This journey to publication continued and I've since written four other books, they too part of a birthing process that started over 20 years ago.  Remember birthing can be painful, but the yield worth it.  Keep pushing on!  Be clear on a destination for the results....

  Excerpted from my motivational autobiography, Navigating Life’s Roadways: Stories of Insight from My Odyssey and Inspiration for Your Journey in print and Kindle eBook http://www.amazon.com/dp/B008FQDPYE

Be Tenacious! Ride the Trail of Life's Winds

Tough Times Never last, But Tough People Do!

Title of a book by Revered Robert H. Schuller

On a bike ride on top of a volcano in Maui, 2001

"Hold on!"

            As wild bicycle riders, my play gang during my youth and I would yell these words to each other as we circled the house—jumping ditches or mudholes, cruising over  rocks, knocking over playmates—or anything else in our way—peddling our ‘no speeds’ as hard as we could.  We were usually doubled up on the bike— one doing the leg work while standing— the other one perched on the seat, holding the other's waist, head, arms, or whatever provided the firmest grip. Occasionally, a third person would hop on, riding the handlebar or a rear wheel seat. Fierce and focused for big fun, we rode that limited but challenging route around the house on the bicycle, since we were not allowed to venture out into the road. Occasionally one of us would try to show off and take both hands off of the handlebars…and then everyone fell down. 

            I continued to enjoy biking and at one time lived close to an extensive and intermittently demanding trail in Alexandria VA. The trail’s proximity to the Potomac River brought beauty and peace to the ride for me. However, on windy days this location was particularly challenging. Headwinds coming off the river prevailed, slowing my ride and causing me to hold on tighter when I reached dangerous curves and downhills. I was concerned about falling because in spots the trail was further surrounded by miry marsh and rocky deep ditches. My helmet offered some protection and I shifted gears as necessary to negotiate the path. Those were not times or places for any tricks like riding with my hands off the handle bars. Paying attention to these moments, the call for me was to still ‘hold on’.

            The trails of life can yield weighty winds and stumbling stones, but being steadfast can help us to ride them out. ‘That which doesn’t kill us can make us stronger.’ Let’s maximize our motions. With our protections of faith, creativity and a firm foundation of focus— we can do it. 

            Another one of my favorite gospel songs tells me, ‘Just like a tree that's planted by the water, I shall not be moved.’

            Our talents provide a framework of protection for us to peddle hard on the journey.

Excerpted from my motivational autobiography, Navigating Life’s Roadways: Stories of Insight from My Odyssey and Inspiration for Your Journey in print and Kindle eBook http://www.amazon.com/dp/B008FQDPYE

3rd Anniversary of Publishing My Autobiography, Navigating Life's Roadways - Interview

Three years ago today, July 19, 2011, Navigating Life's Roadways was published and I added the title AUTHOR to my bio!  In print and Kindle on Amazon  http://www.amazon.com/dp/B008FQDPYE 

Mistakes Matter: Reviewing Lessons from Milemarkers of Life's Journey

There is no foot that does not stumble.

Zulu proverb

 

            There are times when I've felt it was important to do a review of my life journey and ponder not just the successes but ask: How many times have I messed up?

            So in the name of being self-aware and not afraid to go there, I continue: Let me count the ways (a few for starters):

·         Acted like “a chuckle-headed fool” (one of my grandfather’s favorite terms) 

·         Made wrong decisions resulting in unfavorable circumstances in my career

·         Said things to people I wish I could return to my mouth and mind

·         Operated at the whims of my emotions - carelessness (at times)

 

All of my mistakes have cost me in some way—spiritually, physically or financially.

There are always consequences for actions or inactions. Our faults rack up.

             In life we face our natural disposition to do wrong, intentionally or unintentionally. Slips of the tongue and bad judgment calls follow us. Employees make errors on their jobs so we comb over our bills to make sure they’re accurate. Politicians spout gaffes that offend. We’re breathing, spirited beings operating from our inclinations and prone to struggle with the mix of our own divine and demons. We fear making mistakes, but there’s no way to avoid them. It’s ingrained in the human condition that there is no perfection.

            “What did you learn from this?”

            We’ve all been on the receiving end of that question from parents, bosses or friends. There is a place for thoughtful consideration as we revisit our mistakes. We can regroup from the aftermath of the misfortunes of our actions. In The Odyssey there is a major theme running through it, teaching us that the human spirit with the most growth and strength is the one that is tested and weakened through the process. Though instructional yet ambiguous, we don’t always see the fall-out from our mistakes.

             Some consequences of our wrong deeds show up much later. A few of mine are permanent markers. I’ve revisited many of my own blunders in hindsight, wishing I hadn’t done certain things.  I can’t change what I did, so what’s the answer? What is most motivating to me is that I didn’t count myself out ISO (In Spite Of) them.

            So what do I know in review?

            Goof-ups come with growing up and have their place as a phase of life’s passages. When I’m having my ‘auntie talks’ with my nephew or nieces, I tell them mistakes are inevitable. I tell them they’re going to make them and that the key is not to make too many of them with consequences that are hard to recover from.

            To constantly teeter on ‘to do or not to do’ would make us too fearful to take risks and live fully. As God’s creations we are beautifully and wonderfully made—with our flaws. But there’s help. Lamentations 3:22 tells us, “It is of the LORD's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.” We can count on “Him, who is able to keep us from falling”— always watching and protecting us.

            Yet there are times to rack up our own experiences to learn perils versus positives. Second chances and forgiveness over and over again can decrease the major and minor count.

            Let’s proceed on the miles of our journey and thoughtfully watch our numbers—we don’t want a pile up of mistakes with no lessons as an out... Periodically do a life review.

           

Excerpted from my motivational autobiography, Navigating Life’s Roadways: Stories of Insight from My Odyssey and Inspiration for Your Journey http://www.amazon.com/dp/B008FQDPYE

Ramp Up! Find Your Life's Reliable Resources

When you have no choice, mobilize the spirit of courage.

Jewish Proverb

 

Driving highways paved through hills and valleys with their times of ascent and descent can be challenging to navigate. The series of moves to accelerate and brake while rounding these hilly curves is hard if you’re behind the wheel of a car—much less a large vehicle such as an 18-wheeler. Due to the design and load of these big-rigs, a more significant increase in speed happens as they head downhill. This could cause these vehicles to run out of control. For this reason there’s a special sign for the big trucks, designating a run-a-way landing area to the side of the road—a safety pull off.  This ramp is a reliable resource. We’re all glad these extra lanes are there and can count on them to serve their purpose—an out allowing time for the driver to regain control of his truck.

            There are life situations in which we need an out as well—to get off the road for a while. After one of my lowest life moments I knew the next phase involved God’s stamped and reliable plan to bring some control back into my journey. The road to entrepreneurship was now beeping on my radar as a likely destination. My trust in His word and presence ran firm in my IPS (Internal Positioning System), but until the plan was fully revealed, I needed income. I’d been working a series of part-time jobs, telemarketing and substitute teaching, but the pay wasn’t meeting my financial needs. I was staying with a friend, but wanted to move into my own place again. My checkbook resembled a rollercoaster of numbers running from a high of some money to a low of no money.

            Then it came to me.

            Maybe I can temporarily return to active duty in the Army while my consulting business was in its gestational period.

            I put the word out to my friends—does anyone know of this need.

            One of my active duty Army friends knew of a defense department director who’d requested a reserve officer to come in and support technology issues in his office for about four months (known as a TTAD—temporary tour of active duty). My friend put us in touch and I was selected for the opportunity. This TTAD fit my goals well and once I was done with that assignment, others became available over the next few years. Those few months of army officer income kept my finances under control until my business could sustain me. I was glad to have this option to depend on during such a critical phase of my career journey. My service to the army was a reliable source in many ways.

            We all need something to fall back on—family, friends, things, opportunities or skills.  These are valuable life resources.

            FAITH 

            This is such an important message in today's world. What was once secure in work and institutions…not so much now.  It does us well to keep all options open. As the saying goes, “A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.” Watching for our own skid marks, let’s sense when life is heading out of control in one of our lanes.

It’s then time to pull over or off and take temporary refuge on solid ground.  

           

            Identify what we can count on when there’s a need to pull off the road.

 

 

Parts excerpted from my motivational autobiography, Navigating Life’s Roadways: Stories of Insight from My Odyssey and Inspiration for Your Journey http://www.amazon.com/dp/B008FQDPYE

 

 

 

Navigate Strong! Finding Your Life's Road of Reality

March on. Do not tarry. To go forward is to move toward perfection. March on, and fear not the thorns, or the sharp stones on life’s path.

Kahil Gibran

 

            “Life is difficult.” In Dr. M. Scott Peck’s well known book, The Road Less Traveled, this is the first sentence. Startling at first glance, but when we think about these words, it’s very true.  Dr. Peck goes on to say that once we accept this fact, life becomes less difficult because this fact no longer matters.

            Keep going ISO (In Spite of).

            We then focus on the many roads ahead, knowing as we proceed on our odyssey that some truths will become evident. One such truth is that we ourselves sometimes get in our own way and create difficulty. Other times we show out brilliantly, handling our business. Hard stuff happens and none of us are immune. Wonderful times roll around and we all get to celebrate.

            Most of life actualizes somewhere in the middle and that is where we learn—traveling on what appears to be a ‘long and winding’ road.

             I’ve (literally) broken down on the road yet found inspiration in the words of a gospel song that relates, “Nobody told me the road would be easy; I don't believe he brought me this far to leave me.”  These words help me to recognize and use my IPS (Internal Positioning System) more.

            What I’ve come to terms with on this journey we call life is that I have experienced a lot and will experience much more. This range of events has presented many emotions for me, reflective of things I’ve missed and things I’ve cherished. I’m sometimes lonely for a mate, yet proud of what God has allowed me to accomplish. I lament relationships that fell into dysfunction, yet relish those that remain in alignment. I revel in joy over family rites of passage and sometimes sink in sorrow over those who’ve transitioned to be with the Lord. I’ve learned that you can’t always count on those closest to you, but strangers of immense kindness will pass along your way.

            At either end of this spectrum, coping is what we do. We learn how to wipe out and negotiate and handle what’s thrown our way—it’s the Navigator’s mission. Facing the fact that no one roadway will put us exactly where we would like to be, we internalize this tough lesson. With no guarantees for happiness, we reach for it where we can find it. Oftentimes we’ve heard others say (or have thought to ourselves), "If I get this or that then I'll be happy." Trying to keep up with others in current lifestyle trends usually leads to temporary satisfaction, but an ultimate return to dissatisfaction. The important thing is to keep our focus and be optimistic even in the most challenging of times. Where we are is where we are. 

 

            Understand that the roads of life are best paved with managed expectations.

 

Excerpted from my motivational autobiography, Navigating Life’s Roadways: Stories of Insight from My Odyssey and Inspiration for Your Journey in print and Kindle eBook http://www.amazon.com/dp/B008FQDPYE

 

 

Break Away! Lightening Our Life Baggage

Wherefore seeing we are compassed about with so
great a cloud of witnesses,let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us,
and let us run with patience the race set before us.

                                                                Hebrews 12:1

 

            I love to travel—a goal of mine being to explore as many of the world’s seven continents as possible. When wanderlust strikes, I look at the globe my mother gave me for Christmas years ago, asking myself, where to next? Once I decide, as any road warrior knows, careful packing and preparation for the trip are critical to match the right wardrobe to the trip’s intent. However, packing is still an area in which I need work. It takes me days to get my clothes and other items together—even for short trips. Seems like the older I get, putting the essential things in my luggage is more challenging— that list having expanded due to my need for more of a variety of items to attend to the signs of aging’s gifts.

              My ‘living large’ episode of packing came when I went on a three-month jaunt to Europe back in late 1986. The purpose of this journey was ‘to find myself,’ after leaving the army and two corporate jobs. Maybe some clarity would come to my life as I traversed the “old country” minus some of the daily pressures of work for a while.

            Organizing my packing list for the trip was a nightmare— as I tortured myself by continually thinking, what if I don’t take this and can’t find it in a foreign country, or the price may be three times what I would pay for it at home.  Trying to minimize the space-taker bulky pieces was also a challenge. Since the time of my excursion bordered the seasons of late fall entering winter, this meant I needed coats and sweaters—but how many or how heavy was reasonable?    

           My luggage of choice was an old Army duffle bag—good for cramming in numerous articles of clothing in its flexible fabric’s design. Then I decided another suitcase was needed for my overflow. Now the question, how would I carry these big pieces? I forgot that I would be lugging these bags through European airports, train stations, hotels and the houses of gracious friends and relatives. This was before the onslaught of rolling luggage options so you really got a workout grabbing and heaving your bags. Weight restrictions for checked bags and height-design limitations for carry-on pieces weren’t in place then either so it really was a ‘bring it all’ mindset.   Fortunately, my youngest brother was stationed in Italy and my sister along with others I knew were stationed throughout Germany. They all allowed me to leave luggage at their houses to lighten my cargo. Or as I shopped and added to my belongings, there were other things I decided to leave behind. Carrying too much baggage would’ve been cumbersome and diminished the joy of my trip. 

            And so it is on our journeys in life.

I’ve picked up trunks of good and bad experiences at various stops on my odyssey. Satchels of safety and love have kept my spirit in check at times but sent me spiraling into the emotional danger zone too.  Cases of career skills have provided opportunities for me to use passion and practicality in my work yet leave me on a low financial plain occasionally. I’ve carried on pieces of other folks’ issues when I should’ve left them behind.  In moving forward I think about the song “Ease on Down the Road” from the production of The Wiz which advises, “Don’t you carry nothing that might be a load.”

            How do we ‘shed the stuff’ that holds us back; that robs us of a lighter sense of peace? 

            Do we just keep piling it on, thinking every day is winter and we need the heavy things?

            Is there a (safe) place to leave it? What’s the cost if we don’t let go and trust?

            First we release to make space. Unpacking and leaving those experiences behind that only drag us down can unencumber our journey. Then we repack for better days. As the slogan for the New Year goes: ‘Out with the old and in with the new.’ This situates us for the next blessings in store. God and a host of angels are watching and cheering us on to get those blessings. We don’t have to lift our baggage alone. Faith gives us a place to unload. It’s located everywhere.

            Clear the load and travel lightly on in the races ahead. Identifying porters to help us can give us an extra boost when we need one. Run on!
 

Excerpted from my motivational autobiography, Navigating Life’s Roadways: Stories of Insight from My Odyssey and Inspiration for Your Journey in print and Kindle eBook http://www.amazon.com/dp/B008FQDPYE