The Gift in Your DNA

On site at one of my leadership workshops, using my gift to help others...

 

Below is a sermon I preached on using our gifts and talents that God gave us!

 

2 Timothy 1:5-7New International Version (NIV)

5 I am reminded of your sincere faith, which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice and, I am persuaded, now lives in you also.⁶ For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands. ⁷ For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.

Today we sometimes face situations in our lives where we’re told what we can and can’t do, swaying us from our capabilities and purpose. Limited opportunities in the job market might cause us feel as though our hands are tied or we’re boxed in from changing our circumstances. Terms such as furloughs, budget cuts and discrimination can bring about fear and discouragement. Even in the church we can get disappointed in service when we can’t see if our work makes a difference. But in this text we are reminded that we must remain faithful because God has gifted us with what we need to move forward in spite of any challenges.

 Because as His creation we’re wired to ‘be all we can be.’ He constructed our human makeup with what is known in science as DNA or Deoxyribonucleic acid, which we learned about in our high school biology classes. the Psalmist tells us that He formed our inward parts; he knitted us together in our mother's womb, fearfully and wonderfully made. Our DNA is also passed down through our ancestral lineage. There is even a test available to find out more about our biological origins.

            And here’s another take, I view the term DNA as Delivered Natural Ability, a gift, a source our omniscient God supplied us with for purpose. Then what can we learn from this text the life of the Apostle Paul about these DNA resources, this man formerly known as Saul of Tarsus, a Christian persecutor who experienced Divine deliverance on a road to Damascus? In the scripture Paul was in a Roman prison and knew his life would soon be over, because he would not be set free this time and more than likely be executed by the authorities. Why? Due to his mission to extend the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Even the conditions of Paul’s imprisonment were different this time; he was chained in a cold cell and had been abandoned by those he thought would co labor with him in the name of Christ.

But Paul did what he could do even in those difficult circumstances. He wrote fearlessly! His talent of having written over 1/2 of the New Testament galvanized the Gospel. In this scriptural letter to Timothy, his son in the faith, he writes to inspire him in the midst of the trials faced by these early Christians. But you know we still face some challenges in the church with even later Christians…and we can get discouraged in service, because church work is not easy…Amen! But now Paul is encouraging Timothy to use what he’s got…even in the toughest of times. In his writing Paul made this prison a pulpit to spread a message of hope because he sensed a low moment in Timothy’s faith. But yet according to Paul’s assessment, Timothy had what he needed from his Delivered Natural Ability. Because Paul and the elders had laid their hands on him, delivered power from the Holy Spirit. And even for us somebody prayed for us, had us on their mind, and said let me lay some hands on that child’ to have better…

So here are three points to further relate how this scripture speak to us today? First we have to recognize our gifts and talents. Romans 12 tells us ⁶ We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. These gifts can show up as our talents. Either someone remarked that we were born with it, or noted them at a point in our lives. Paul has notices Timothy’s gift for service when they met in Lystra according to Acts 16. Our talents might be in arts, culinary, mechanical, scientific, athletic, musical, educational fields or plain common sense perspectives; the range of what we possess is vast. And like Paul tells Timothy, at times we have to fan into flame or as in other translations it reads kindle afresh, keep ablaze or stir up our gift. Let me pause right here and look at this phrases, especially kindle afresh. For some of us that grew up with wood heaters, you remember how you had to have a piece of kindling wood to get the fire started or when it died down.  We do this now even with fireplaces. Those embers have to be stoked, to strengthen the fire, and the same is true for our mind’s resolve to use our DNA.  Sometimes when we get discouraged we have to strengthen our spark by praising and worshipping God. And as President Obama said in his campaigns, be Fired Up and Ready to Go!

But remember Paul was chained in a cold cell. Then how was he able to write while chained? Evidently his hands were free enough at times or he dictated to visitors or guards who were willing to assist, some rams in the bush.Amen! But think about it, when we don’t use our gifts we can get chained to the wrong thing, be imprisoned by other’s perceptions of us and create our own shackling and not pursue opportunities to use our DNA cells.  Or we may not exercise our gift for fear of being rejected or others thinking ‘ we’re all that.’  Instead let us be on purpose for Him who formed us. And yes we may be abandoned in the process. But remember there is all sufficiency in the Lord, in His grace. And what a constant friend we have in Jesus, who is always by our side!

Secondly we also have Delivered Natural Ability as the result of how parents, caregivers, teachers and our culture have instructed and nurtured us. Back in v. 5 of the scripture Paul notes the faith of Timothy’s mother and grandmother and how strong it dwelled in them. The mention of their faith is designed as an incentive for Timothy. We too have some ancestral reserve of faith and pressing through difficult times, even persecuted for who we are. We’re the product of folks who also operated by their wits. This is a critical part of our DNA and we too should be encouraged by this. I also mentioned that our scientific DNA is hereditary and there’s a biological test to determine our origins. As they say ‘some things do run in the family, or it’s in the genes.” So back in 2009 an uncle and I took this test administered through a company called African Ancestry which specializes in this research.  The female side or matriarchal test I took came back Nigerian of the Yoruba Fulani groups and my uncle’s male or patriarchal test also came back Nigerian of the Ibo group.  Our results matched 100% with current day people living in those areas.  I did a bit more research and discovered that the main staples of those groups is the yam and now know why we love some baked sweet potatoes, candied yams and sweet potato pie! Amen for the yams! Maya Angelou in her poem And Still I Rise reminded us that we come bringing the gifts the ancestors gave; we are the hope and dream of the slave. The skills they brought from the motherland were put to use to survive in this new hostile land.

Our goal is to find these talents and not let others keep us from this treasure. We may not face things of the magnitude in which Paul did, or even our ancestors, but these attributes shelter us in the turmoil of today, becoming our fallback in challenging times. Because we can’t deny that we’ve come this far by faith. God’s Providence is always at work, for progress and for His people. From Selma to Soweto there’ve been faith walks. The old folks, our ancestors learned to make a way out of no way with God.

And thirdly, what do we do with our DNA gifts?  1 Peter 4:10 gives a clear answer here, stating As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God's varied grace.

And ultimately, the message here is this: Find and flame this wellspring of gifts. Showcase them for God’s glory! Build on that ancestral reserve of DNA, to not be afraid of the terrors by night or anything that’s trying to block us from our purpose. V. 7 assures us that God has not given us the spirit of fear or timidity But has given us.... power. I was at the airport months ago and saw one of the receptacle stations for charging technology that said, Power, Just When You Need it. That’s what the Holy Spirit is, given to us by an omnipotent God. God gave us His son Jesus as a gift. Delivered in a manager away in Bethlehem, who lived in service, yet was beaten and put in a cell, died on a cross, was buried but rose with all Power.  He loved and loves us that much.

A song that inspires me is Stir Up the Gift!, taken from the words of Paul in our text used in the King James version done  by Joe Pace and the Colorado Mass Choir...

Stir up the gift, Lay your hands on me, Touch me Lord Revive my joy

Make Me, Mold Me, Renew my spirit, Restore my soul
His joy and peace has given us a sound mind
Never should we be afraid Because we have the gift of DNA

Storm Watch: Safe in His Eyes

 

Ever so often on life's roadways, we will have to ride out a storm. And as a new minister, God graciously plants words of encouragement on our human existence in my spirit. Below is a sermon I preached on this topic, taken from Luke 8:22-25 (NIV)

²² One day Jesus said to his disciples, “Let us go over to the other side of the lake.” So they got into a boat and set out. ²³ As they sailed, he fell asleep. A squall came down on the lake, so that the boat was being swamped, and they were in great danger. ²⁴ The disciples went and woke him, saying, “Master, Master, we’re going to drown!” He got up and rebuked the wind and the raging waters; the storm subsided, and all was calm. ²⁵ “Where is your faith?” he asked his disciples. In fear and amazement they asked one another, “Who is this? He commands even the winds and the water, and they obey him.”

Every year the National Weather Service alerts us about upcoming storm seasons; how many hurricanes there might be, projected snowfall amounts, potential rain and flooding, wind speeds, or thunder and lightning intensity. These storms can be very damaging to life, livelihood, and property. Remember Mount Pleasant we recently supported relief efforts to flood victims in Sumter SC during this fall season.  It just seems like these storm seasons all meld together.  Much like life, there’s a saying that at any given time we’re either coming out of , in one or going into a storm…whether it’s a challenging relationship, workplace issue, illness or just feeling like the winds are blowing  a lack of favor on our current situation.

Whether we’re facing weather storms or life storms, we look for some help. Hurricane season in particular can be frightening. They’re the subject of much folk lore.

For example in one of Harlem Renaissance author Zora Neal Hurston’s signature books, two of the main characters find themselves in the midst of a hurricane in Florida. Confined to a tiny shanty located in the Everglades, they are contemplating their survival.  An excerpt from the book reads,
"They huddled closer and stared at the door. The wind came back with triple fury and put out the light for the last time. They sat in company with the others in other shanties, their eyes straining against crude walls and their souls asking if He meant to measure their puny might against His. They seemed to be staring at the dark, but as the title of her book notes, Their eyes were watching God.

So who are you watching in the midst of the storms of your life?

In the scripture, the disciples are in the boat with Jesus, sailing across the Sea of Galilee.  All of a sudden the storm, a squall came down. That’s how they show up in our lives. Unpredictable. Even AL Roker or Tom Kieran’s meteorological models aren’t 100%.  And we can be anywhere when storms come down, a ship, a shack, a mansion, riding in our car, sitting at our desk, or in the sanctity of our own home. Storms can even show up in the sanctuary of the church.

Now the disciples became frightened as rough waves tossed the boat. Much like we do when the storm clouds appear in our lives. Many of you may remember growing up that we used to have to sit down somewhere during scary thunder and lightning storms. My grandmother would say be quiet now and let the Lord do His work.

So that’s what the disciples did in v 24. They were watching Jesus and woke Him up from His rest. Because no other Help did they know. Even King Jehosophat in 2 Chronicles, alarmed when facing a tough battle, prayed to God saying We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you."  Because God is also on watch.. an ever-present help in trouble, remaining vigilant, for our protection and safety, his work and will to be done in our lives. The disciples were privileged to watch Jesus in His human self for a little while. He was trying to teach them they should not fear, because like it says in that old hymn, Blessed Assurance Jesus is ours.

So then Jesus arose from his rest and calmed the storm.  And later on in His earthly journey, He arose after a 3 day power nap in the tomb. And He still calms the storms in our lives. For our ultimate safety and salvation  He arose!  

The disciples then ask What manner of man is this! for he commands the wind and water…Jesus was large and in charge.

The word command reminds me of military parades, which for those of us who served we participated in or others may have viewed them. There’s a formation move called, Pass and review, where the soldiers march past what’s called a reviewing stand, which is elevated above the parade ground. Here the command structure is seated, watching the parade.  When the soldiers reach this spot, the senior soldier yells EYES RIGHT, and the soldiers salute while simultaneously turning their heads to the right and looking at the commanders, and they keep marching forward.  Amen! Because we serve The Commander in Chief, with ALL Power and Authority, who sits high and looks low we know storms will eventually pass and we can review our lives to see how He has brought us through.

So are your eyes right when the storm comes… Or are you watching Dr. Phil, the politicians, CNN, or false prophets?  As I mentioned earlier, during my childhood we had to turn everything off when the thunder storms came. Especially the television, and my grandfather would say cut that idiot box off, fixated on that mess. Today, let’s make sure we aren’t watching or listening to the wrong thing or the wrong people.  There’s a whole bunch of uninformed mess being passed around.  Let’s be focused on what saith the Lord in the circumstances of our storm. Look at Him who sits on the command throne of heaven. Glory Hallelujah, His truth is marching on.

2 Corinthians 4:18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. 

Then are your eyes fixed high on Calvary?  Where Jesus sacrificed His safety for us, tossed and battered by an angry sea of citizens.  Scripture says everything went dark there that day at Golgotha.

Yes storms can bring darkness to the skies and our lives. In the excerpt of the hurricane story I read earlier, it says the storm knocked the light out in their shanty for the last time. But we don’t have to worry about that. Thank God for Jesus, who ascended to heaven and became the eternal light of the world. A constant beacon taking us from shore to shore, even in the storms. And if we keep our eyes on the Him, He will keep us in perfect peace, strengthening our hope for making it through. Our faith can look up to Him, Savior Divine.

 

Reverend Deborah L. Parker

Associate Minister

Mount Pleasant Baptist Church

Herndon, VA

Mistakes Matter: Reviewing Lessons from Milemarkers of Life's Journey

There is no foot that does not stumble.

Zulu proverb

 

            There are times when I've felt it was important to do a review of my life journey and ponder not just the successes but ask: How many times have I messed up?

            So in the name of being self-aware and not afraid to go there, I continue: Let me count the ways (a few for starters):

·         Acted like “a chuckle-headed fool” (one of my grandfather’s favorite terms) 

·         Made wrong decisions resulting in unfavorable circumstances in my career

·         Said things to people I wish I could return to my mouth and mind

·         Operated at the whims of my emotions - carelessness (at times)

 

All of my mistakes have cost me in some way—spiritually, physically or financially.

There are always consequences for actions or inactions. Our faults rack up.

             In life we face our natural disposition to do wrong, intentionally or unintentionally. Slips of the tongue and bad judgment calls follow us. Employees make errors on their jobs so we comb over our bills to make sure they’re accurate. Politicians spout gaffes that offend. We’re breathing, spirited beings operating from our inclinations and prone to struggle with the mix of our own divine and demons. We fear making mistakes, but there’s no way to avoid them. It’s ingrained in the human condition that there is no perfection.

            “What did you learn from this?”

            We’ve all been on the receiving end of that question from parents, bosses or friends. There is a place for thoughtful consideration as we revisit our mistakes. We can regroup from the aftermath of the misfortunes of our actions. In The Odyssey there is a major theme running through it, teaching us that the human spirit with the most growth and strength is the one that is tested and weakened through the process. Though instructional yet ambiguous, we don’t always see the fall-out from our mistakes.

             Some consequences of our wrong deeds show up much later. A few of mine are permanent markers. I’ve revisited many of my own blunders in hindsight, wishing I hadn’t done certain things.  I can’t change what I did, so what’s the answer? What is most motivating to me is that I didn’t count myself out ISO (In Spite Of) them.

            So what do I know in review?

            Goof-ups come with growing up and have their place as a phase of life’s passages. When I’m having my ‘auntie talks’ with my nephew or nieces, I tell them mistakes are inevitable. I tell them they’re going to make them and that the key is not to make too many of them with consequences that are hard to recover from.

            To constantly teeter on ‘to do or not to do’ would make us too fearful to take risks and live fully. As God’s creations we are beautifully and wonderfully made—with our flaws. But there’s help. Lamentations 3:22 tells us, “It is of the LORD's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.” We can count on “Him, who is able to keep us from falling”— always watching and protecting us.

            Yet there are times to rack up our own experiences to learn perils versus positives. Second chances and forgiveness over and over again can decrease the major and minor count.

            Let’s proceed on the miles of our journey and thoughtfully watch our numbers—we don’t want a pile up of mistakes with no lessons as an out... Periodically do a life review.

           

Excerpted from my motivational autobiography, Navigating Life’s Roadways: Stories of Insight from My Odyssey and Inspiration for Your Journey http://www.amazon.com/dp/B008FQDPYE

Promised Land Perspectives: African American Vigilance for Victory | Great Black Speakers

Promised Land Perspectives: African American Vigilance for Victory | Great Black Speakers

9 REMINDERS FOR FRESHMEN: About Life And the World

I starting putting college talk in my nephew’s head early on in his life. His journey started a bit tough, but as a doting and honest aunt, I could see he had potential.  So he did eventually graduate high school, taking control of his future. Below are the comments from a letter I wrote to him as he embarked on his first year in college. These words modeled the same advice that had been given me by my mother and other family as I began that sojourn into full adulthood; commencing! As we enter this season of parents sending their children off to first year of college, hopefully this list of ponderings is timely tested for readers to share with their freshmen.

1.   Talk to God daily. He “orders your steps.”  You know he has brought you out of many situations and you see the miracles he has done for you.  I can’t say enough of how proud I am of how you.

2.  Life requires work; not many things come about easily.  “If you take one step, God will take two.”   Have a plan for what you want to do while at school, your holiday breaks, and summers.

3.  Things won’t always happen the way you want them to and when you want them to. “God may not come when you want, but he’s always right on time.”  Don’t rush life.  Let things happen for you in their time.  Be your age!!  If you don’t, you wind up being bored because you’ve experienced “too much, too soon.”

4. Make decisions carefully and well thought out ones.  Get good accurate information from a variety of sources to help you determine what you want to do and how you want to be.  I know you’re hearing a lot of different things from other students and friends.  Hear it, but don’t believe everything you hear. Check out the real truth with facts. Be your own person with a solid understanding of your own opinions and perspectives.

5.  Life has its good times and bad times, fun times and boring times for everyone.  No situation or place is ever perfect.

6.  Flexibility and an open mind are important.  And it is ok to change your mind about things. However be aware of any consequences involved about those things you may change your mind about.  Particularly any negative consequences that involve finances, your reputation, or upset your future.

7.  Friendship is one of the greatest gifts of life.  So make friends based on trust, respect, and shared values. Those will last longer.  And I feel your friendships will be so important to you as you get older especially since you’re an only child, your friends may eventually become your family.

8.  Explore new hobbies and interests that have lifelong value as well as variety and can get you through the ups and downs of life whether you’re in good health or not, have money or not, have people to do things with or not.   Things I learned to do as a kid and while in college provide me with entertainment now.  I read when I can’t be outside, I bike when I want to enjoy the outdoors, like to play tennis and splash in the water, learning to play golf, enjoy talking to good friends on the phone, and as you know love to eat and enjoy dining out.

9. Remember, you are blessed, loved by God, family, and friends!!

{My Story} A Thanksgiving First and Last

{My Story} A Thanksgiving First and Last

Press On! 3 Ways to Sync Your IPS (Internal Positioning System) to Destination Success

How do we find the “true north” to achieving our goals?

The reality is that in moving on down the roads of our journeys, we gain and lose ground. All is aligned with great momentum one moment. Then in the next we get misdirected and wonder how we’ll find our way. And most times we eventually do get there, somehow. Leading us to ponder, is there a life GPS to keep us on course?

I’ve surmised that we all have an IPS (Internal Positioning System) to steer us. If we engage it. Just like an automobile’s navigation system— with its GPS, dashboard and features— we too can punch in coordinates for where we want to go in life. We have attributes, strengths and limitations that direct us. Our motivations, habits or wits contribute to how we handle the inevitable bumpy roads. Destinations for our career, family, health, quality of life or relationship goals – we can arrive at these places, based on how we deploy the elements of our IPS’s dashboard.

Yet, I’ve found that this IPS, like GPS technology, has worked for me sometimes and malfunctioned others. In my car, when the quirky voice of the dashboard is silent, I check to see if the GPS is on. Particularly if I’m in unfamiliar territory.  In my life, if I’m not adhering to right messages, I sense a system failure; the signal for me then is that maybe my IPS is not on.  I feel lost, literally, on my life quest. Is this a place I need to explore more, I question. 

OR

Maybe I need to Press!

So what are three parts of the on button for syncing that IPS?

The road I grew up on

1.      Discover Your Unique Routing. Understanding how our life works in terms of its unique cycles and circumstances provides a map for focus. Why so? Knowing the design of our route helps us navigate and heed the messages in the hills and potholes of life.  I have come to realize that an off road collision in a low place is part of my special path before I slowly make my way out to higher ground and another level that God has waiting for me. Also moving through the roadways of our journey we hold different emotions and experiences that bring out our strengths as well as our frailties. At times, I get sidetracked here, but this history accumulates, becoming my cargo as I launch in another direction. Whether it’s good or bad we all carry this load. And it can keep us on a realistic route, as we define success.

 

2. What’s the Force That’s With You? This IPS is part of our drive, an engine that fuels us every day. It takes us through storms and other bad conditions. Our IPS is composed of  ‘gifts and wits’, perspectives, willingness to admit and learn from mistakes, humor, gratitude, wisdom, faith and the list…goes on.  These are the blocks of our being, in varying quantities. A good deal of this force comes from our early life values and grounding. Raised poor, Baptist, in a rural town, but instilled with hope for better times, and family who encourage me to “git my lessin”, equipped me to set out on my sojourns of twists and turns. With accomplishments and failures. There's power in both of these for us, ignited from this combustible combination.

3.      Recognize Your Hardwiring. What’s inbred in our natural circuits? There’s a DNA that makes and shapes us to be. I often share that at my core, I’m the oldest child product of a determined single parent teen mother. With no excuses, she burrowed her way through many adversities on her journey. After she passed in 2010, I reflected on what she’d left me, spiritually.  I share in my motivational memoir, Navigating Life’s Roadways, that she provided an example of sheer will and a strong work ethic for me. And I think of this when I get stuck or waylaid in my life. She taught me to drive, pass some of life’s tests and now has turned the steering wheel over to me— to keep going. The operating hardware and software of her IPS (Internal Positioning System) spiritually resides on my dashboard, with God —my ever present Pilot, the main engaging button.   I've found that there's an automatic syncing coming out of this type of recognition, which will stand the hard inspections of  our many journeys.

Press On Through Storms, Sync your Success and Drive to Your Best!

Writing: The # 1 Way to Review and Reconcile Your Life



 

What do we do with the memories of how we've navigated our different life stages? Some pleasantly, others not.  Is there a way to reflect and make peace with it all?

WRITE!  It's Cathartic, Freeing, Healing.

Find a place for your words, describe who you were and are, along with the people and experiences that have shaped you. Create your chronicles. It can be a help to others too.

When my mother passed from leukemia in March 2010, grieving swept me like a tsunami. Like many of us, the loss of a parent is one of those defining moments that changes everything. She was a determined single parent with humor and focus. Not that we didn't have our challenges, particularly as me being her oldest.  How could I come to a place of peace? Then I birthed a book, Navigating Life's Roadways: Stories of Insight from My Odyssey and Inspiration for Your Journey, claiming my mother as its spiritual co-author.  This publishing goal of 15 years came to be out of these intense emotions, and a fellow writer had shared that this was a good time to pen a memoir. The best teacher, life itself, had taught me much as an army veteran, cancer survivor and go-getter in spite of my family's poor, rural beginnings. For more information and to order a copy of this book on Createspace, see Navigating Life's Roadways

Keep it moving.

As I mentioned, writing has been on my radar for a while, so I discovered there were many pieces I'd put to paper over the years, in addition to poems, blogs and speeches.Gleaning lessons from my varied life stages such as watching the careful way in which my grandfather grew collard greens in my youth, to the emotions of seeing a fellow soldier and friend off to war for the first time, gave voice to my varied experiences. So now what to do with those?  Life is A Review, my new eBook is a compilation of those. Check it out!

Life is A Review on Amazon

I've spoken to many people in my work and personal life about the value of journalling, or just carrying a notebook. Which I see as an important first step if you're a writer or non-writer.  My advice, "Just get the words and energy out, it'll take shape when it's supposed to."

Many events in life are ordained, part of our purpose. Share them in your stories. Others have expressed how my triumphs as well as tragedies have given them permission to take a look back at their own lives in a different lens.  With a "me too" reaction, they appreciated in knowing they were not alone in their sufferings or successes.

The review of my journey continues.

Try it for yourself!   Review and Reconcile.

9 Tips for Grads: Things To Remember and Reinforce About Life

My nephew and I in 1993, planting the seeds for college

THINGS TO REMEMBER AND REINFORCE ABOUT LIFE: At College and In the World

I began putting college talk in my nephew’s head early on in his life. His journey started a bit tough, but as a doting and honest aunt, I could see he had potential. So he did eventually graduate high school, taking control of his future. Below are the comments from a letter I wrote to him as he embarked on his first year in college. These words modeled the same advice that had been given me by my mother and other family as I began that sojourn into full adulthood; commencing! As we enter this season of graduation celebrations, hopefully this is timely tested for readers to share with their graduates.

 

1.   Talk to God daily. He “orders your steps.”  You know he has brought you out of many situations and you see the miracles he has done for you.  I can’t say enough of how proud I am of how you turned things around your senior year and are at college.  You should be too. Your potential for doing and being good things is evident.

2.  Life requires work; not many things come about easily.  “If you take one step, God will take two.”   Have a plan for what you want to do while at school, your holiday breaks, and summers.

3.  Things won’t always happen the way you want them to and when you want them to. “God may not come when you want, but he’s always right on time.”  Don’t rush life.  Let things happen for you in their time.  Be your age!!  If you don’t, you wind up being bored because you’ve experienced “too much, too soon.”

4. Make decisions carefully and well thought out ones.  Get good accurate information from a variety of sources to help you determine what you want to do and how you want to be.  I know you’re hearing a lot of different things from other students and friends.  Hear it, but don’t believe everything you hear. Check out the real truth with facts. Be your own person with a solid understanding of your own opinions and perspectives.

5.  Life has its good times and bad times, fun times and boring times for everyone.  No situation or place is ever perfect. I know you think big cities like NY are great and they can be fun, but they’re not all they’re cracked up to be either.  It takes a lot of money to live and do things there and like anywhere else if you don’t have friends or family there big cities can be impersonal.

6.  Flexibility and an open mind important.  And it is ok to change your mind about things. However be aware of any consequences involved about those things you may change your mind about.  Particularly any negative consequences that involve finances, your reputation, or upset your future.

7.  Friendship is one of the greatest gifts of life.  So make friends based on trust, respect, and shared values. Those will last longer.  And I feel your friendships will be so important to you as you get older especially since you’re an only child, your friends may eventually become your family.

8.  Explore new hobbies and interests that have lifelong value as well as variety and can get you through the ups and downs of life whether you’re in good health or not, have money or not, have people to do things with or not.   Things I learned to do as a kid and while in college provide me with entertainment now.  I read when I can’t be outside, I bike when I want to enjoy the outdoors, like to play tennis and splash in the water, learning to play golf, enjoy talking to good friends on the phone, and as you know love to eat and enjoy dining out. 

9. Remember, you are blessed, loved by God, family, and friends!!

My nephew with his late grandmother at his college graduation in 2006


For more information on my book (Navigating Life's Roadways) and family, see navigatinglifesroadways.com or amazon.com

Dealing With Adversity: Anchor In Sometimes!

And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also:knowing that tribulation worketh patience;And patience, experience; and experience, hope. Romans 5:3-4

I learned a lot about dealing with adversity from my mother. A single parent of four children, she never complained and continued to take on what life sent her. Because of her stance, I was able to graduate from college in spite of our family hardships. I share some of what I learned from her in this radio interview on family issues and adversity.

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/thestepmomstoolbox/2012/03/07/dealing-with-adversity-with-guest-deborah-parker-1#.T7I6Rm61csI.email

Moving into adulthood I further discovered that life has its hardships as well as battles, of which most of us get assigned to. Or I thought some didn’t and used to envy those people whose lives seemed to go through the right stages at the right time. Whole birth family, graduating school, getting married, securing careers, having kids — all done by age... everything seemed perfect. No ugly surprises restricted their life passages. Now what I know is that even though tribulations tug at our sanity, there are many personal ‘gets’ from seemingly unfavorable situations. Tough times can provide insight into such questions as:

• Am I still roadworthy?
• Did I gain some lessons from this struggle?
• How would I score myself in this life test?
• What does this say about my life’s navigational chart?

Sometimes we need these trying experiences.  My faith has sustained me through many tribulations. There’s an expression reminding us that “A dose of adversity is often as needful as a dose of medicine.” The wisdom and growth that comes from those undesirable moments can put us out to sail on, ‘being all we can be’. Temporarily being cast into hardship can deepen our resolve and strengthen us as go from storm to shore. Drop into it adversity. Don’t drift away.

More can be found on how I've handled adversity in my motivational memoir: Navigating Life's Roadways: Stories of Insight from My Odyssey and Inspiration for Your Journey, available on amazon.com. http://www.amazon.com/Navigating-Lifes-Roadways-Stories-Inspiration/dp/1453849858/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top