Line Up: Decide To Be and Lead

There is nothing impossible to him who will try.

Alexander the Great

To confront the challenges, emergencies, and problems of a dynamic and fluid society, good problem-solving and decision-making skills are critical. Sometimes new methodologies and insights are required, inspired by pioneers, those who are willing to chart a new path to reach organizational and individual objectives. Leaders of today and tomorrow are being asked to do just that—to engage in creative thinking and paradigm shifting in approaching problems to come up with new efficiencies.

            For that reason, the word “change” is constantly used today. Restructuring and reinventing have also brought about new processes, procedures, and policies that make for a challenging the workday. However difficult these changes and challenges may seem, they can also be tremendous learning opportunities. Our power comes from deciding to be in line with this learning.

            But first we must report in and decide to be. Then get busy. 

            Leadership, for personal or professional reasons —must remain consistent and in line.

            When one takes this type of firm stance, it can be a challenge to deal with those who don’t. Making up one’s mind should be simple enough. How many times have we all heard or said this? It’s such a powerful statement regarding decision and change. In one of my conversations with my late Uncle Horace about family members and who, among them, could be depended on to call or act, particularly in a crisis, we agreed that folks use the excuse, “That’s just the way I am.” He came back with, “But it’s time for them to be something else.”

            Yes, there are times to follow that popular athletic shoe tag line and ‘just do it’, to move away from what’s comfortable, and stop making excuses. We are who we are, but it’s okay to try a different way of being, chart new territory, and be purposeful. 

As a leader, each time we walk into a new situation, we have some choices: to be. This new landscape is ours to work and fill. With daring determination, we can choose to move through what was barren to create bounty: poor morale to empowered team, unwilling students to motivated learners, and unsure children to confident next generationer. Decide to change the course by helping others in their quest to be better, starting in the current moment.

            Important also is for leaders to ensure complex situations get the right amount of attention. Too often they dust off really serious issues as trivial. Instead, these problems have layers of stuff that need to be waded through. This era of tweets, microwaves, or solving a crime in sixty minutes of television has led to impatience with the processes that are often necessary to find enduring solutions. Instead, the issues continue to surface. How do we put them under and out of the way?

Once we decide to be, we get our mojo to create a different outcome!

Are you open to creating a new and personal frontier?  If so there are ways to ensure positive change and enduring solutions by enacting the following points.

• Stake your claim! Define your leadership drop zone.
• Move fearlessly onward. And explore new territories.
• Gather your strength. Then focus on priorities.
• Be curious and open to new frontiers. Create anew.
• Test the limits. By taking risks.
• Have a pioneer mindset. Go with your force of belief in all that might be possible. That’s your ultimate power!

            Charge! Be ready to be first! Decide to solve and resolve!

Parts excerpted from my book, Hardcore Leadership: 11 Master Lessons from My Airborne Ranger Uncle’s “Final Jump”  http://www.amazon.com/dp/1479324760

Birth of a Book: Navigating Life's Roadways

My first booksigning of Navigating Life's Roadways in 2011

 

Life is a message – listen to it. Life is a belief – trust it. Life is a gift – accept it.

Life is love – think about it. Life is an adventure – dare it.

                                   Northern Sotho proverb, South Africa

 

 

My first book, Navigating Life's Roadways: Stories of Insight From My Odyssey and Inspiration for Your Journey, was a charge and blessing from above.

Writing it had been on my radar for a while.

I remember first mentioning my authorship intent to family and friends about 16 years ago. Then I started writing—capturing life’s glories and challenges as I saw them.  A few years later as I exclaimed this vision to others, the comments ranged from supportive to discouraging—but I wasn't necessarily deterred. Continuing to write, I cataloged more stories as my life’s map unfolded.

 Just speaking the words of my writing goal gave this project life – sprouting the seeds. God gradually put a series of experiences in my life—some great and some not so great with professional, spiritual and personal accounts—to get me to this point. Responses and residue from the issues of family and friends gave me new insights for addressing the travails of my odyssey. Participants in my workshops—through their comments and questions—validated my thoughts of writing this book and alerted me that so many of us are struggling and looking for answers. The rollercoaster nature of the social, political and economic climate of this country pointed to a need for new maps to circumvent these troubled times. My own life's missteps started to reveal instructive destinations…and this book evolved.

Through the years I stayed on Persistence Parkway—revisiting what I’d written, attending writer’s groups and keeping the goal alive. I also stopped at Waiting Wall to assess where I was on my path and then tweak my manuscript. The original writings focused on everyone else's story. When I showed this manuscript my oldest brother, he asked me why I didn’t share more of my life. He said, "People like to read about other people’s lives…” and I'd done many positive things in spite of our rough beginnings and he was proud of me. My brother reemphasized the fact that we all have a story to tell. Not long after that conversation I attended the funeral of a saved saint—an old friend of my family's. The choir sang her favorite hymn, "Tell it When You Get it Right”.

God was allowing me to tell my story and the time is right.

             Along with the other teachings from my journey’s wanderings.

        

            The starting point of my odyssey is my hometown of Waverly Virginia, where the stories focus on the foundations laid on the roads I first trod with my family, faith and community structure.  Proceeding to other major avenues such as school (because I liked Williamsburg so much I wound up going to college there), relationships and careers — I then periodically circle back to my childhood in later narratives.

I also penned the major parts of this book in the year of some personal and extremely pivotal life events.

My mother passed away on March 10,2010  and the agonies of the grieving process were tremendous; a surreal event that’s been devastating on all fronts for me.

In this process I discovered that we give to fill a void. I am single and don’t have children, so birthing this book is one of the ways I hope to leave a footprint on the world. Since my mother passed, I’ve felt a chasm of many emotional proportions. Yet the process of grieving her transition gave to this book in ways I couldn’t recognize at first. She left a legacy in the circle of life.

             Once I was led to and committed to writing, energies from everywhere cooperated—seems like phrases, memories and lessons abounded at every corner. My mother knew of my writing aspirations and I feel this creative force was her way of working through God to stir up my spirit. While out walking, ideas would flood my head as I looked at the sky or the landscape around me. I’d hurry back to my office and quickly capture the thoughts—adding fresh words to the manuscript on my computer.

 

            This journey to publication continued and I've since written four other books, they too part of a birthing process that started over 20 years ago.  Remember birthing can be painful, but the yield worth it.  Keep pushing on!  Be clear on a destination for the results....

  Excerpted from my motivational autobiography, Navigating Life’s Roadways: Stories of Insight from My Odyssey and Inspiration for Your Journey in print and Kindle eBook http://www.amazon.com/dp/B008FQDPYE

Making It With a Vision: Eyes to The Sky

 

 

“Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world.”

~ Harriet Tubman, Conductor of the Underground Railroad

 

            Imagine freedom. Done.

            Vision: A plain message to prevent personal perish.

            From Kunta Kinte to Harriet to Martin to you, we harbor plenty of iconic images of what it has taken and takes today to achieve the right to be. Shackles to shacks and now suburbs, this new life shape is unfolding. From you to me, can we model their grit and, yes, sacrifice? Whatever it looks like in time, energy, money, effort, or even loss, make the picture of your envisioned reality as plain as it needs to be. Imagine your career, your family, and your everything else.

            The dream triggers this new thing that you want. Measureable and to the point is how to capture this goal. Ask yourself: How badly do I want this? What am I willing to go through to get it?  Only you have the answer!

            As Earth, Wind, and Fire sing, “Keep your head to the sky.”

            Dream, imagine, and take a risk!

 

 

Excerpted from my book,For People of Strength, Soul, and Spirit:

Seven Guidelines for Life & Career Success  http://www.amazon.com/For-People-Strength-Soul-Spirit/dp/1479237019
 

 

 

 

Spock Factor: Seven Lessons To Live Long, Navigate Strong, and Prosper Well

“The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few” (or “the one”).

Mr. Spock, from Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan

The passing of Leonard Nimoy last month, known for his TV/movie character Mr. Spock on the Star Trek series, brought special memories of this logical Vulcan and key member of the USS Enterprise star ship from fans everywhere.

And as many celebrities whose on screen performance expertise gives life to unforgettable icons, important lessons also ensue that can be helpful as navigate our own journeys.

Mr. Spock’s actions represented elements of the daily realities of people, how to get along and use your talents for a purpose.  Drilling a bit further down on these lessons, seven of these insights are:

1. Being Different is fine and needed. Recognize the gift of your uniqueness and use it for the good of others.
2. Take risks and adapt to new situations as you ‘boldly go where no man has gone before.’ Claim your enterprise.
3. There are times to sacrifice for the needs of others in the various roles we have in life, from parent, family member, citizen, leader, neighbor or colleague.
4. It’s good to have a BFF who accepts you as Mr. Spock did in the persona of Captain James T. Kirk
5. Explore and engage life. Leonard Nimoy’s intellect and interests beyond his Mr. Spock portrayal were evident in his passions for other art forms.
6. Keep head and heart connected but logic yields the answer at times… And so do feelings.
7. Understand all the different parts and origins of yourself – Mr. Spock was very much aware of his Vulcan and Earth inclinations and managed them as best he could.

 

Make your voyage a strong one, navigate it to the fullest, and prosper in all you do!

 

Finding Your Internal Positioning System (IPS): What’s Ingrained In You? | Great Black Speakers

Finding Your Internal Positioning System (IPS): What’s Ingrained In You? | Great Black Speakers

Be Tenacious! Ride the Trail of Life's Winds

Tough Times Never last, But Tough People Do!

Title of a book by Revered Robert H. Schuller

On a bike ride on top of a volcano in Maui, 2001

"Hold on!"

            As wild bicycle riders, my play gang during my youth and I would yell these words to each other as we circled the house—jumping ditches or mudholes, cruising over  rocks, knocking over playmates—or anything else in our way—peddling our ‘no speeds’ as hard as we could.  We were usually doubled up on the bike— one doing the leg work while standing— the other one perched on the seat, holding the other's waist, head, arms, or whatever provided the firmest grip. Occasionally, a third person would hop on, riding the handlebar or a rear wheel seat. Fierce and focused for big fun, we rode that limited but challenging route around the house on the bicycle, since we were not allowed to venture out into the road. Occasionally one of us would try to show off and take both hands off of the handlebars…and then everyone fell down. 

            I continued to enjoy biking and at one time lived close to an extensive and intermittently demanding trail in Alexandria VA. The trail’s proximity to the Potomac River brought beauty and peace to the ride for me. However, on windy days this location was particularly challenging. Headwinds coming off the river prevailed, slowing my ride and causing me to hold on tighter when I reached dangerous curves and downhills. I was concerned about falling because in spots the trail was further surrounded by miry marsh and rocky deep ditches. My helmet offered some protection and I shifted gears as necessary to negotiate the path. Those were not times or places for any tricks like riding with my hands off the handle bars. Paying attention to these moments, the call for me was to still ‘hold on’.

            The trails of life can yield weighty winds and stumbling stones, but being steadfast can help us to ride them out. ‘That which doesn’t kill us can make us stronger.’ Let’s maximize our motions. With our protections of faith, creativity and a firm foundation of focus— we can do it. 

            Another one of my favorite gospel songs tells me, ‘Just like a tree that's planted by the water, I shall not be moved.’

            Our talents provide a framework of protection for us to peddle hard on the journey.

Excerpted from my motivational autobiography, Navigating Life’s Roadways: Stories of Insight from My Odyssey and Inspiration for Your Journey in print and Kindle eBook http://www.amazon.com/dp/B008FQDPYE

Charge! Four Routes to Your Leadership and Life Purpose

There are those who look at things the way they are, and ask why…I dream of things that never were, and ask why not?
Robert F. Kennedy

What centers and lights the way for you at your place of being in charge? How do you map your way through life?

Organizational mission statements and strategic plans are designed to provide this scope. In life, we may be faced with many battles. Going up our own rough side of the mountain, it’s important to know why we’re climbing. Is there a vision?

Many events in life are ordained, part of our purpose, and they may involve suffering before victory. Leaders need to be on point. Parents need to be focused. An outcome must be sought, dreams turned into reality. Both are sources for guidance and direction, all for achieving the objective.

For the military, no war is fought without a purpose and a plan. During battle, the purpose is to support and defend while staying alive, willing to sacrifice if necessary, proud to serve!

Cause and direction are essential. This scope is to be drilled down to the lowest level, orienting soldiers to the mission and how to take action. Trickling even further, soldiers are issued a compass as a tool to help them orient themselves to where they are and traverse the battlefield. GPS technology also supports this effort in current times. You can’t win without direction and battle orders.

            Driving was also another area that surfaced quite often in our family gatherings. With two uncles that were long haul truck drivers and another one who traversed the country for his military assignments, I too took on the messages from the open road.  Metaphorical and purposeful, driving offers insights geared to continuing the charge in leadership and life.

            There were four strategies I gleaned from him for the long haul:

 

1.      Define where you are going. So set the coordinates.

 

It starts with a vision.

. “Keep your eyes to the sky,” one of my uncles advised as I took on my first long distance road trip. “Read the directional signs and know the name of the next big location or city you’re headed to. Continue to check your map before you get on the road, and each time you stop for a break, familiarize yourself with your route. This will keep you from getting lost out there. You’ll be all right.”

I was—trip successful.

Lesson link. Put a plan in motion with relevant and actionable steps. Where do you want to go and how do you get there? Be very clear on your coordinates.

 

2.      Open all lanes for learning.

Mistakes, setbacks, and disappointments are inevitable. What will you do with that knowledge? Gridlock and resistance show up. We will have learning curves for him when it comes to earning buy-in from those we lead.

3. Don’t be afraid to change destination.

Steer on in spite of roadblocks and potholes such as the economy, a career shift, or lost resources. Find a new route. Use another skill to still be of service.

4. Crank your motivation motor constantly.

Be driven and self-motivated to remain on course. Keep the fuel ignited. Think about why you’re there as a leader. Do you have a passion for your deliverables? Is there a link to your life purpose? Does it afford the flexibility or income potential you seek?

Excerpted from my book, Hardcore Leadership: 11 Master Lessons from My Airborne Ranger Uncle’s “Final Jump”   http://www.amazon.com/dp/1479324760

 

 

Mistakes Matter: Reviewing Lessons from Milemarkers of Life's Journey

There is no foot that does not stumble.

Zulu proverb

 

            There are times when I've felt it was important to do a review of my life journey and ponder not just the successes but ask: How many times have I messed up?

            So in the name of being self-aware and not afraid to go there, I continue: Let me count the ways (a few for starters):

·         Acted like “a chuckle-headed fool” (one of my grandfather’s favorite terms) 

·         Made wrong decisions resulting in unfavorable circumstances in my career

·         Said things to people I wish I could return to my mouth and mind

·         Operated at the whims of my emotions - carelessness (at times)

 

All of my mistakes have cost me in some way—spiritually, physically or financially.

There are always consequences for actions or inactions. Our faults rack up.

             In life we face our natural disposition to do wrong, intentionally or unintentionally. Slips of the tongue and bad judgment calls follow us. Employees make errors on their jobs so we comb over our bills to make sure they’re accurate. Politicians spout gaffes that offend. We’re breathing, spirited beings operating from our inclinations and prone to struggle with the mix of our own divine and demons. We fear making mistakes, but there’s no way to avoid them. It’s ingrained in the human condition that there is no perfection.

            “What did you learn from this?”

            We’ve all been on the receiving end of that question from parents, bosses or friends. There is a place for thoughtful consideration as we revisit our mistakes. We can regroup from the aftermath of the misfortunes of our actions. In The Odyssey there is a major theme running through it, teaching us that the human spirit with the most growth and strength is the one that is tested and weakened through the process. Though instructional yet ambiguous, we don’t always see the fall-out from our mistakes.

             Some consequences of our wrong deeds show up much later. A few of mine are permanent markers. I’ve revisited many of my own blunders in hindsight, wishing I hadn’t done certain things.  I can’t change what I did, so what’s the answer? What is most motivating to me is that I didn’t count myself out ISO (In Spite Of) them.

            So what do I know in review?

            Goof-ups come with growing up and have their place as a phase of life’s passages. When I’m having my ‘auntie talks’ with my nephew or nieces, I tell them mistakes are inevitable. I tell them they’re going to make them and that the key is not to make too many of them with consequences that are hard to recover from.

            To constantly teeter on ‘to do or not to do’ would make us too fearful to take risks and live fully. As God’s creations we are beautifully and wonderfully made—with our flaws. But there’s help. Lamentations 3:22 tells us, “It is of the LORD's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.” We can count on “Him, who is able to keep us from falling”— always watching and protecting us.

            Yet there are times to rack up our own experiences to learn perils versus positives. Second chances and forgiveness over and over again can decrease the major and minor count.

            Let’s proceed on the miles of our journey and thoughtfully watch our numbers—we don’t want a pile up of mistakes with no lessons as an out... Periodically do a life review.

           

Excerpted from my motivational autobiography, Navigating Life’s Roadways: Stories of Insight from My Odyssey and Inspiration for Your Journey http://www.amazon.com/dp/B008FQDPYE

Deborah L. Parker | Black History Story | The African Americans: Many Rivers to Cross | PBS

Deborah L. Parker | Your Story | The African Americans: Many Rivers to Cross | PBS

Promised Land Perspectives: African American Vigilance for Victory | Great Black Speakers

Promised Land Perspectives: African American Vigilance for Victory | Great Black Speakers

Claim Your Power, Change! Speaker Author Deborah L. Parker advises Women Accountants & Local Leaders | PRLog

Claim Your Power, Change! Speaker Author Deborah L. Parker advises Women Accountants & Local Leaders | PRLog

Break Away! Lightening Our Life Baggage

Wherefore seeing we are compassed about with so
great a cloud of witnesses,let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us,
and let us run with patience the race set before us.

                                                                Hebrews 12:1

 

            I love to travel—a goal of mine being to explore as many of the world’s seven continents as possible. When wanderlust strikes, I look at the globe my mother gave me for Christmas years ago, asking myself, where to next? Once I decide, as any road warrior knows, careful packing and preparation for the trip are critical to match the right wardrobe to the trip’s intent. However, packing is still an area in which I need work. It takes me days to get my clothes and other items together—even for short trips. Seems like the older I get, putting the essential things in my luggage is more challenging— that list having expanded due to my need for more of a variety of items to attend to the signs of aging’s gifts.

              My ‘living large’ episode of packing came when I went on a three-month jaunt to Europe back in late 1986. The purpose of this journey was ‘to find myself,’ after leaving the army and two corporate jobs. Maybe some clarity would come to my life as I traversed the “old country” minus some of the daily pressures of work for a while.

            Organizing my packing list for the trip was a nightmare— as I tortured myself by continually thinking, what if I don’t take this and can’t find it in a foreign country, or the price may be three times what I would pay for it at home.  Trying to minimize the space-taker bulky pieces was also a challenge. Since the time of my excursion bordered the seasons of late fall entering winter, this meant I needed coats and sweaters—but how many or how heavy was reasonable?    

           My luggage of choice was an old Army duffle bag—good for cramming in numerous articles of clothing in its flexible fabric’s design. Then I decided another suitcase was needed for my overflow. Now the question, how would I carry these big pieces? I forgot that I would be lugging these bags through European airports, train stations, hotels and the houses of gracious friends and relatives. This was before the onslaught of rolling luggage options so you really got a workout grabbing and heaving your bags. Weight restrictions for checked bags and height-design limitations for carry-on pieces weren’t in place then either so it really was a ‘bring it all’ mindset.   Fortunately, my youngest brother was stationed in Italy and my sister along with others I knew were stationed throughout Germany. They all allowed me to leave luggage at their houses to lighten my cargo. Or as I shopped and added to my belongings, there were other things I decided to leave behind. Carrying too much baggage would’ve been cumbersome and diminished the joy of my trip. 

            And so it is on our journeys in life.

I’ve picked up trunks of good and bad experiences at various stops on my odyssey. Satchels of safety and love have kept my spirit in check at times but sent me spiraling into the emotional danger zone too.  Cases of career skills have provided opportunities for me to use passion and practicality in my work yet leave me on a low financial plain occasionally. I’ve carried on pieces of other folks’ issues when I should’ve left them behind.  In moving forward I think about the song “Ease on Down the Road” from the production of The Wiz which advises, “Don’t you carry nothing that might be a load.”

            How do we ‘shed the stuff’ that holds us back; that robs us of a lighter sense of peace? 

            Do we just keep piling it on, thinking every day is winter and we need the heavy things?

            Is there a (safe) place to leave it? What’s the cost if we don’t let go and trust?

            First we release to make space. Unpacking and leaving those experiences behind that only drag us down can unencumber our journey. Then we repack for better days. As the slogan for the New Year goes: ‘Out with the old and in with the new.’ This situates us for the next blessings in store. God and a host of angels are watching and cheering us on to get those blessings. We don’t have to lift our baggage alone. Faith gives us a place to unload. It’s located everywhere.

            Clear the load and travel lightly on in the races ahead. Identifying porters to help us can give us an extra boost when we need one. Run on!
 

Excerpted from my motivational autobiography, Navigating Life’s Roadways: Stories of Insight from My Odyssey and Inspiration for Your Journey in print and Kindle eBook http://www.amazon.com/dp/B008FQDPYE

 

9 REMINDERS FOR FRESHMEN: About Life And the World

I starting putting college talk in my nephew’s head early on in his life. His journey started a bit tough, but as a doting and honest aunt, I could see he had potential.  So he did eventually graduate high school, taking control of his future. Below are the comments from a letter I wrote to him as he embarked on his first year in college. These words modeled the same advice that had been given me by my mother and other family as I began that sojourn into full adulthood; commencing! As we enter this season of parents sending their children off to first year of college, hopefully this list of ponderings is timely tested for readers to share with their freshmen.

1.   Talk to God daily. He “orders your steps.”  You know he has brought you out of many situations and you see the miracles he has done for you.  I can’t say enough of how proud I am of how you.

2.  Life requires work; not many things come about easily.  “If you take one step, God will take two.”   Have a plan for what you want to do while at school, your holiday breaks, and summers.

3.  Things won’t always happen the way you want them to and when you want them to. “God may not come when you want, but he’s always right on time.”  Don’t rush life.  Let things happen for you in their time.  Be your age!!  If you don’t, you wind up being bored because you’ve experienced “too much, too soon.”

4. Make decisions carefully and well thought out ones.  Get good accurate information from a variety of sources to help you determine what you want to do and how you want to be.  I know you’re hearing a lot of different things from other students and friends.  Hear it, but don’t believe everything you hear. Check out the real truth with facts. Be your own person with a solid understanding of your own opinions and perspectives.

5.  Life has its good times and bad times, fun times and boring times for everyone.  No situation or place is ever perfect.

6.  Flexibility and an open mind are important.  And it is ok to change your mind about things. However be aware of any consequences involved about those things you may change your mind about.  Particularly any negative consequences that involve finances, your reputation, or upset your future.

7.  Friendship is one of the greatest gifts of life.  So make friends based on trust, respect, and shared values. Those will last longer.  And I feel your friendships will be so important to you as you get older especially since you’re an only child, your friends may eventually become your family.

8.  Explore new hobbies and interests that have lifelong value as well as variety and can get you through the ups and downs of life whether you’re in good health or not, have money or not, have people to do things with or not.   Things I learned to do as a kid and while in college provide me with entertainment now.  I read when I can’t be outside, I bike when I want to enjoy the outdoors, like to play tennis and splash in the water, learning to play golf, enjoy talking to good friends on the phone, and as you know love to eat and enjoy dining out.

9. Remember, you are blessed, loved by God, family, and friends!!

Drive On! Taking Action During Imperfect Conditions | Great Black Speakers

Drive On! Taking Action During Imperfect Conditions | Great Black Speakers

The Writer's Megaphone presents author Deborah L. Parker

The Writer's Megaphone: The Writer's Megaphone presents author and motivat...: Anyone who knows me personally is very much aware of the fact that I am a big fan of paying it forward.  Paying it forward is such an eas...

Memorial Day: Honoring The Ancestors of a Different Battle

“I would fight for my liberty so long as my strength lasted, and if the time came for me to go, the Lord would let them take me.”

Harriet Tubman

 

            My maternal grandfather, Joseph (Joe) Everett Parker, Sr., honored our history and this holiday in a different way.  On Memorial Day during the 1960s, the children of the family accompanied him on an ancestral voyage.  We went to the burial grounds of his parents and other relatives, some who were born slaves or in the reconstruction era. Here he honored their service. Because they had fought for racial freedom, persevering and sacrificing in the most horrid of conditions. I call them ‘old soldiers’ too, experienced on the battlefield of life.

            The grave sites were located way back off a rural road, some 15 miles or so from our home in Waverly Virginia.  In preparation for the trip my grandfather loaded up his tools to attend to the publicly neglected graves. At that time, black people could not be buried in our town’s cemetery. So most of the graves were located out in the "country" on traditional church grounds or old family sites. 

            As rather adventurous children who loved treats, we were excited about these outings with my grandfather for a couple of reasons. This was another chance to be away from home while enjoying the outside. And as part of this ritual my grandfather stopped at the local store and bought the makings for a good sandwich; bread, baloney, mayonnaise, and grape Nehi sodas—our favorite ‘poor folks’ snack.          

            Back then the significance of this cemetery ritual was lost on our young minds.  We watched my grandfather clear the weeds and wild growth from the place where his folks lay.  Delicately, he touched the mounds of dirt with his hoe or pitchfork, clearing the brush as he went about his task.  This was a sacred place. After the work was done, my grandfather bent his head.  He cried.  He prayed.  He paid homage to the souls of our kindred spirits.  In spite of his exhibits of strength and occasional “hell raising”, my grandfather was at times a very sentimental and emotional man. I value this understanding about my grandfather.

            Joe Parker’s sense of history and roots were firm and unknowingly he passed it down through the generations in a special way. I remember, this is an important part of our legacy. And I write about these unsung and enduring heroes whose acts of bravery in the enemy’s camp for humanity have made my progress so. They won!

 

Excerpted from my upcoming book, TOOLS TO CULTIVATE THE PROMISED LAND: Working Wisdom from My Grandparent’s Garden, October 2013

 

 

With my grandfather in 1982