Navigate Strong! Finding Your Life's Road of Reality

March on. Do not tarry. To go forward is to move toward perfection. March on, and fear not the thorns, or the sharp stones on life’s path.

Kahil Gibran

 

            “Life is difficult.” In Dr. M. Scott Peck’s well known book, The Road Less Traveled, this is the first sentence. Startling at first glance, but when we think about these words, it’s very true.  Dr. Peck goes on to say that once we accept this fact, life becomes less difficult because this fact no longer matters.

            Keep going ISO (In Spite of).

            We then focus on the many roads ahead, knowing as we proceed on our odyssey that some truths will become evident. One such truth is that we ourselves sometimes get in our own way and create difficulty. Other times we show out brilliantly, handling our business. Hard stuff happens and none of us are immune. Wonderful times roll around and we all get to celebrate.

            Most of life actualizes somewhere in the middle and that is where we learn—traveling on what appears to be a ‘long and winding’ road.

             I’ve (literally) broken down on the road yet found inspiration in the words of a gospel song that relates, “Nobody told me the road would be easy; I don't believe he brought me this far to leave me.”  These words help me to recognize and use my IPS (Internal Positioning System) more.

            What I’ve come to terms with on this journey we call life is that I have experienced a lot and will experience much more. This range of events has presented many emotions for me, reflective of things I’ve missed and things I’ve cherished. I’m sometimes lonely for a mate, yet proud of what God has allowed me to accomplish. I lament relationships that fell into dysfunction, yet relish those that remain in alignment. I revel in joy over family rites of passage and sometimes sink in sorrow over those who’ve transitioned to be with the Lord. I’ve learned that you can’t always count on those closest to you, but strangers of immense kindness will pass along your way.

            At either end of this spectrum, coping is what we do. We learn how to wipe out and negotiate and handle what’s thrown our way—it’s the Navigator’s mission. Facing the fact that no one roadway will put us exactly where we would like to be, we internalize this tough lesson. With no guarantees for happiness, we reach for it where we can find it. Oftentimes we’ve heard others say (or have thought to ourselves), "If I get this or that then I'll be happy." Trying to keep up with others in current lifestyle trends usually leads to temporary satisfaction, but an ultimate return to dissatisfaction. The important thing is to keep our focus and be optimistic even in the most challenging of times. Where we are is where we are. 

 

            Understand that the roads of life are best paved with managed expectations.

 

Excerpted from my motivational autobiography, Navigating Life’s Roadways: Stories of Insight from My Odyssey and Inspiration for Your Journey in print and Kindle eBook http://www.amazon.com/dp/B008FQDPYE

 

 

Promised Land Perspectives: African American Vigilance for Victory | Great Black Speakers

Promised Land Perspectives: African American Vigilance for Victory | Great Black Speakers

Tend to Your Turn: Greens, Victory and Gratitude Await

 



With my late grandparents and tending gardeners at their 50th wedding
anniversary celebration in June 1982

Trust in the Lord with all your heart
    and lean not on your own understanding;
⁶ in all your ways submit to him,
    and he will make your paths straight

Proverbs 3:5-6

 

 

You must judge a man by the work of his hands.

African Proverb

 

 

Fresh collard greens reign as the caviar of the rural South, and no self-respecting African-American family gets through Thanksgiving or Christmas without some on the table. This was especially true in our household. I could count on the presence of these healthy greens at our holiday feasts, mainly because they grew in our garden.

My grandfather prided himself on producing the best bunches in town. In tending to that particular crop, he explained that the key was to never to pull them until after the first frost, usually sometime in November, right before Thanksgiving. Other vegetable-watchers agree that collards seem to be sweeter, tender, and more nutritious when nature’s timing and work restores them after a frost.

But what does this collard greens philosophy mean for us in life?

§  Nothing before it’s time.

§  Lay the groundwork, plant seeds, and plan.

§  You can reap the benefits of the best, if you but wait.

§  Let the natural order of life guide you.

       This concept falls in line with something our society is not used to these days, delayed gratification.  This notion that you will ‘have what you’re supposed to have when you’re supposed to have it’, doesn’t always fit in the multi-tasking, want it now behaviors of today.   Waiting tests our patience, particularly when we’re just ready for situations to be over, for news to come, or for something to fruition.

I also learned a lot about waiting from my family, particularly in our pre-Civil Rights era and small-town beginnings.  Because I was raised Baptist, I was also taught about the power of faith. Core to our religious beliefs, hope was the standard. As part of our ABC’s (always be constant) in praying for God’s plan and timing to be revealed, we stood fast. We had held out for opportunity, for laws to pass, and for a better day. Activists had boldly laid out a strategy, spreading leaves for change. And those better days did come, when it was our time and turn. The roots of a plan have righted and yielded sweet victories!

How can we further apply these principles to our own harvest?

 

If you believe within your heart
You'll know that no one can change
The path that you must go

Lyrics from “Believe in Yourself”, Performed by Lena Horne in The Wiz

 

As this banner year of 2013 made its way in, I experienced a few other truths about timing and turns. I attended New Year’s Eve or ‘watch night’ service at my church. The guest minister’s topic was “It’s My Time and My Turn.” She used Ecclesiastes 3:1, To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:, which I referenced in an earlier chapter of this book. One week later as I was listening to a radio broadcast from another church’s ‘watch night’ service, the preacher used the same scriptural reference. Then the following week, the same scenario of my listening to a religious programming from New Year’s Eve service and the preacher used the same scripture and same topic. Three times equal confirmation!

What did this mean?

So I’ve had an increase in work from the previous year (some greens) and published another book. One of my goals in waiting was to start doing more motivational talks to different groups. I was honored to speak at the Martin Luther King holiday program, on the day of President Obama’s 2^nd inauguration in my town of residence, Leesburg Virginia. Journeying back to my hometown, I spoke for ‘Women’s Day’ at one of the local churches. One of my other books, For People of Strength, Soul, and Spirit: Seven Guidelines for Life & Career Success, was listed as suggested reading to an Ebony magazine article in March 2013. Just to name a couple of other victories, I attended the dedication of a statue to Frederick Douglas in Emancipation Hall of the US Capitol on Juneteenth and positioned myself at both 50^th anniversary programs for the March on Washington. And….God called me to preach His word! I’m currently working on the process of getting licensed through my church, Mount Pleasant Baptist in Herndon Virginia.

My love of history, the Lord, my people, and my work has showed up in amazing ways— when He said so. A motto I developed for this year is Be Heard, Be Seen in 2013! With the Lord’s blessings, all of these pursuits will ‘enlarge my territory’ in the years to come.

So what are you waiting for? Plant it in your mind and reap in His appointed time.

 

Excerpted from my book, Tools to Cultivate the Promised Land: Working Wisdom from My Grandparents' Garden, November 2013 https://www.createspace.com/4302667

 

 

Reviewing Life's Roundabouts - The Way Forward

http://voices.yahoo.com/reviewing-lifes-roundabouts-way-forward-11728652.html?cat=5

A Personal Mid-Year Review – Whole, Worthy and Well in 2012?

I really liked this Whole, Worthy and Well in 2012 slogan I came up with as the New Year gently pushed its way in.  I used it in a business ministry program at my church, in an Easter weekend speaking engagement for women and I blogged about 5 steps to rise into being whole, worthy and well in 2012.

Like many I had a few items on my New Year’s resolutions list, of the personal and professional kind, determined to get me to this “triple W” state. More business, lose weight, be kind to everyone…, some standard “I’ll do betters and a few different ones. 

Yet as June 30 approached I realized that half of 2012 is gone. And it was time to assess and ask myself a few questions; to do a mid-year review. Here's another list to respond to: Is there anything I can check off as accomplished? How am I doing overall with those 2012 goals? Plus this is a Leap Year, supposedly there’s excess out there to jump into. Do I really want the answer to these becomes another issue to ponder. Then when I’m truthful with myself, I own up to what did go right, even with a struggle. A few different speaking engagements and I published 2 eBooks; not bad. And the themes of these events were about some form of personal reviewing!

Revisiting our actions can be difficult, but often necessary. So in my blog in May, I posted a few inquiries for thought in obtaining “triple W” in 2012.

How do you define wholeness?

What are you worthy of?

Who are you when you are well?

For many of us, a basic sense of feeling in control of our lives, showing up authentic, taking care of our physical, mental and spiritual being with a healthy sense of self-esteem would be filtered into the answers to those questions.

So why aren’t we always there? What gets in the way or things that become DEFLATORS?

Certainly life’s disappointments, our habits, motivations and perspectives can flow out in each of those areas to send us spiraling downward.

I realized that I was caught in a few of those deflators from achieving my best “triple W” being. Letdowns and cookie monsters reigned.

What’s my now?

“You can always begin again” is one of those spiritual sayings that resonates most clearly.

I took a few steps to move forward.  The weight issue was one of my biggest personal challenges, I got way off course. On to the gym yesterday and today. Momentum is always Good! Then while out on a walk from the gym this morning, more clarity came in the way of this statement.

Sometimes we all need a little PUSH. Purpose, Understanding, Support, Healing.

But nothing beats the ultimate PUSH. Pray Until Something Happens!

And “your latter can be greater.”

FYI:

My two eBooks on Kindle are:

Life is a Review: Observations and Collections of My Passages Through the Times, a compilation of essays, blogs, poems from my writings for over 20 years,

http://www.amazon.com/Life-Review-Observations-Collections-ebook/dp/B008D6RJ0M/ref=sr_1_7?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1340278945&sr=1-7&keywords=life+is+a+review

Navigating Life’s Roadways: Stories of Insight from My Odyssey and Inspiration for Your Journey (my print book is now available as an eBook.)

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B008FQDPYE

Writing: The # 1 Way to Review and Reconcile Your Life



 

What do we do with the memories of how we've navigated our different life stages? Some pleasantly, others not.  Is there a way to reflect and make peace with it all?

WRITE!  It's Cathartic, Freeing, Healing.

Find a place for your words, describe who you were and are, along with the people and experiences that have shaped you. Create your chronicles. It can be a help to others too.

When my mother passed from leukemia in March 2010, grieving swept me like a tsunami. Like many of us, the loss of a parent is one of those defining moments that changes everything. She was a determined single parent with humor and focus. Not that we didn't have our challenges, particularly as me being her oldest.  How could I come to a place of peace? Then I birthed a book, Navigating Life's Roadways: Stories of Insight from My Odyssey and Inspiration for Your Journey, claiming my mother as its spiritual co-author.  This publishing goal of 15 years came to be out of these intense emotions, and a fellow writer had shared that this was a good time to pen a memoir. The best teacher, life itself, had taught me much as an army veteran, cancer survivor and go-getter in spite of my family's poor, rural beginnings. For more information and to order a copy of this book on Createspace, see Navigating Life's Roadways

Keep it moving.

As I mentioned, writing has been on my radar for a while, so I discovered there were many pieces I'd put to paper over the years, in addition to poems, blogs and speeches.Gleaning lessons from my varied life stages such as watching the careful way in which my grandfather grew collard greens in my youth, to the emotions of seeing a fellow soldier and friend off to war for the first time, gave voice to my varied experiences. So now what to do with those?  Life is A Review, my new eBook is a compilation of those. Check it out!

Life is A Review on Amazon

I've spoken to many people in my work and personal life about the value of journalling, or just carrying a notebook. Which I see as an important first step if you're a writer or non-writer.  My advice, "Just get the words and energy out, it'll take shape when it's supposed to."

Many events in life are ordained, part of our purpose. Share them in your stories. Others have expressed how my triumphs as well as tragedies have given them permission to take a look back at their own lives in a different lens.  With a "me too" reaction, they appreciated in knowing they were not alone in their sufferings or successes.

The review of my journey continues.

Try it for yourself!   Review and Reconcile.