Fear Not! Seek an Acre for Adventure

In the Netherlands 1986

Hiking in South Korea, 1982

If you're not living on the edge, you're taking up too much space.

Unknown

 

            Back in 1986 I journeyed on a European ISO (In Search Of) experience, with no itinerary, except to go ‘where Deborah hadn’t gone before.’ I had purchased a Eurail pass before I left the U.S., which allowed me 30 days of first class train travel throughout most of the central European countries. This pass came with a master schedule which gave me departure times and tracks to many cities. I was going to board my own Love Train— the O’Jays had told me to in their song by that name back in the 1970s. Also I did something similar during my time in the army while stationed in Seoul, South Korea, taking the train around the peninsula, feeling fearless!

            Did my family and friends think I was nuts?

            Yes!

            My response and line of reasoning, “I want to travel while I’m able. Who knows what the future holds. I consider this my pre-retirement reward! I’m going to find myself.”

            Off I went to explore the great countries and cities of Europe. 

            There were some destinations I had in mind, such as Norway, Italy and Belgium— but when I would go see them, I just left it up to my mood and chance. Space for rest and diversions were top priorities during my foray as well, so I’d planned to do a learn-to-ski program in Austria. The choice to discover a new location was mine and I sometimes altered my travel plans based on the best train connections.

            I’d also purchased a guide book, Europe on $25 a Day, which listed lodging and restaurant options for each major place on the continent. Bed-and-breakfast style hotels fit my budget and I found them charming. The innkeepers at these establishments were generous with information about local attractions. From museums to boat rides to authentic foods, I wandered and explored London, Paris, Lucerne, Switzerland, Vienna, Austria and other places. Riding the rails and seeing the countryside up close was a wonderful adventure.

            After my 30 days were up on the Eurail pass, I decided to hang out in Germany for a while. Several of my army friends were stationed there and offered me a place to stay. One of them had an apartment in a community close to the army base so that location fit better for me. We entertained other friends and it was easy to get to other social events. I even considered looking for a job.  Soon I realized that I wanted to go home. ‘Loose ends’ needed to be tied up.

            When I returned to the U.S. one of my uncles asked me if I “found who I was looking for”. 

            I couldn’t really answer that question.

            I was just glad I took on that expedition. Occasionally as I thumb through my photo albums of the trip, reflecting on that experience, I think about what a bold thing that was for me to do. I also wonder if I could do it again. Youth played a role at that time. I was 31 and a curiosity about the world lit my travel bug. My life was at a crossroad too, so a daring pursuit fit the moment.

            I still crave an unusual enterprise from time to time to break the monotony or provide an adrenaline-type thrill. Now I tend to take on shorter and safer quests. When I lived in Phoenix back in 2001, I once drove to Los Angeles and back in the same day. My goal was to complete the coast to coast drive I started when I left Virginia and moved to Arizona. It felt great—seeing the sign pointing me to Los Angeles from the car instead of the plane. Another test of the mettle and pedal I could put on my daring deed. Checking out local festivals, reading a new book genre —those are more within my limits now.

           The message for all of us... Get out of the rut. Find a parade! Explore a new town! Do what you’ve never done.

 

Excerpted from my motivational autobiography, Navigating Life’s Roadways: Stories of Insight from My Odyssey and Inspiration for Your Journey in print and Kindle eBook http://www.amazon.com/dp/B008FQDPYE

 

Deborah L. Parker | Black History Story | The African Americans: Many Rivers to Cross | PBS

Deborah L. Parker | Your Story | The African Americans: Many Rivers to Cross | PBS

Navigating! For Success in Life, Career and Business Pursuits: Navigate Strong! Finding Your Life's Road of Reali...

Navigating! For Success in Life, Career and Business Pursuits: Navigate Strong! Finding Your Life's Road of Reali...: March on. Do not tarry. To go forward is to move toward perfection. March on, and fear not the thorns, or the sharp stones on life’...

Navigate Strong! Finding Your Life's Road of Reality

March on. Do not tarry. To go forward is to move toward perfection. March on, and fear not the thorns, or the sharp stones on life’s path.

Kahil Gibran

 

            “Life is difficult.” In Dr. M. Scott Peck’s well known book, The Road Less Traveled, this is the first sentence. Startling at first glance, but when we think about these words, it’s very true.  Dr. Peck goes on to say that once we accept this fact, life becomes less difficult because this fact no longer matters.

            Keep going ISO (In Spite of).

            We then focus on the many roads ahead, knowing as we proceed on our odyssey that some truths will become evident. One such truth is that we ourselves sometimes get in our own way and create difficulty. Other times we show out brilliantly, handling our business. Hard stuff happens and none of us are immune. Wonderful times roll around and we all get to celebrate.

            Most of life actualizes somewhere in the middle and that is where we learn—traveling on what appears to be a ‘long and winding’ road.

             I’ve (literally) broken down on the road yet found inspiration in the words of a gospel song that relates, “Nobody told me the road would be easy; I don't believe he brought me this far to leave me.”  These words help me to recognize and use my IPS (Internal Positioning System) more.

            What I’ve come to terms with on this journey we call life is that I have experienced a lot and will experience much more. This range of events has presented many emotions for me, reflective of things I’ve missed and things I’ve cherished. I’m sometimes lonely for a mate, yet proud of what God has allowed me to accomplish. I lament relationships that fell into dysfunction, yet relish those that remain in alignment. I revel in joy over family rites of passage and sometimes sink in sorrow over those who’ve transitioned to be with the Lord. I’ve learned that you can’t always count on those closest to you, but strangers of immense kindness will pass along your way.

            At either end of this spectrum, coping is what we do. We learn how to wipe out and negotiate and handle what’s thrown our way—it’s the Navigator’s mission. Facing the fact that no one roadway will put us exactly where we would like to be, we internalize this tough lesson. With no guarantees for happiness, we reach for it where we can find it. Oftentimes we’ve heard others say (or have thought to ourselves), "If I get this or that then I'll be happy." Trying to keep up with others in current lifestyle trends usually leads to temporary satisfaction, but an ultimate return to dissatisfaction. The important thing is to keep our focus and be optimistic even in the most challenging of times. Where we are is where we are. 

 

            Understand that the roads of life are best paved with managed expectations.

 

Excerpted from my motivational autobiography, Navigating Life’s Roadways: Stories of Insight from My Odyssey and Inspiration for Your Journey in print and Kindle eBook http://www.amazon.com/dp/B008FQDPYE

 

 

Be Victorious! Find Your Village to Celebrate

 

If there is no struggle, there is no progress.

Frederick Douglass, Abolitionist

Celebrating victory at my first book signing in July 2011

 

            The paths we’ve trod tell our stories of triumph and we should tell them one by one, stride by stride. Whatever these stories are— no matter how big or small, they are ours.

             When I wrote my autobiography Navigating Life's Roadways, the anecdotes from my childhood and adult experiences reveal a plethora of  my struggles and successes. For instance, because I was raised in a house with no indoor bathroom or running water, it was certainly a glorious moment when I had a toilet inside the same place I lived. Now I even have a few. The flush is a win! My first job as a dishwasher at the cafe in my hometown of Waverly Virginia paid fifty cents an hour and now I make a little more than that! (Although between my schedule and the hours I keep being self-employed, there is no doubt there may be times when I still make fifty cents an hour!)

            At our family gatherings we laugh and reflect on the extremely difficult challenges of our past and revel in the at times not-as-difficult skirmishes of today. As the expression goes, “It’s all relative.” 

            Most of us can glance back and be in awe of the conquests made within our community of family and friends. Kids graduated. Promotions came. Cancer went into remission. Grandchildren finally arrived. Wrongly accused were exonerated. Churches were joined. Houses bought. Loans came through. Good jobs came along. Car started—again. Checks are in the mail. Opportunities are open. Laws passed. Times changed.

            I stop and rejoice in the overcoming—reaffirming the progress in our gathered and appointed places.

 

            We have earned the right to stand back and admire our fortitude. After all, finding the way forward requires much effort.

 

Excerpted from my motivational autobiography, Navigating Life’s Roadways: Stories of Insight from My Odyssey and Inspiration for Your Journey in print and Kindle eBook http://www.amazon.com/dp/B008FQDPYE

 

Promised Land Perspectives: African American Vigilance for Victory | Great Black Speakers

Promised Land Perspectives: African American Vigilance for Victory | Great Black Speakers

Tend to Your Turn: Greens, Victory and Gratitude Await

 



With my late grandparents and tending gardeners at their 50th wedding
anniversary celebration in June 1982

Trust in the Lord with all your heart
    and lean not on your own understanding;
⁶ in all your ways submit to him,
    and he will make your paths straight

Proverbs 3:5-6

 

 

You must judge a man by the work of his hands.

African Proverb

 

 

Fresh collard greens reign as the caviar of the rural South, and no self-respecting African-American family gets through Thanksgiving or Christmas without some on the table. This was especially true in our household. I could count on the presence of these healthy greens at our holiday feasts, mainly because they grew in our garden.

My grandfather prided himself on producing the best bunches in town. In tending to that particular crop, he explained that the key was to never to pull them until after the first frost, usually sometime in November, right before Thanksgiving. Other vegetable-watchers agree that collards seem to be sweeter, tender, and more nutritious when nature’s timing and work restores them after a frost.

But what does this collard greens philosophy mean for us in life?

§  Nothing before it’s time.

§  Lay the groundwork, plant seeds, and plan.

§  You can reap the benefits of the best, if you but wait.

§  Let the natural order of life guide you.

       This concept falls in line with something our society is not used to these days, delayed gratification.  This notion that you will ‘have what you’re supposed to have when you’re supposed to have it’, doesn’t always fit in the multi-tasking, want it now behaviors of today.   Waiting tests our patience, particularly when we’re just ready for situations to be over, for news to come, or for something to fruition.

I also learned a lot about waiting from my family, particularly in our pre-Civil Rights era and small-town beginnings.  Because I was raised Baptist, I was also taught about the power of faith. Core to our religious beliefs, hope was the standard. As part of our ABC’s (always be constant) in praying for God’s plan and timing to be revealed, we stood fast. We had held out for opportunity, for laws to pass, and for a better day. Activists had boldly laid out a strategy, spreading leaves for change. And those better days did come, when it was our time and turn. The roots of a plan have righted and yielded sweet victories!

How can we further apply these principles to our own harvest?

 

If you believe within your heart
You'll know that no one can change
The path that you must go

Lyrics from “Believe in Yourself”, Performed by Lena Horne in The Wiz

 

As this banner year of 2013 made its way in, I experienced a few other truths about timing and turns. I attended New Year’s Eve or ‘watch night’ service at my church. The guest minister’s topic was “It’s My Time and My Turn.” She used Ecclesiastes 3:1, To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:, which I referenced in an earlier chapter of this book. One week later as I was listening to a radio broadcast from another church’s ‘watch night’ service, the preacher used the same scriptural reference. Then the following week, the same scenario of my listening to a religious programming from New Year’s Eve service and the preacher used the same scripture and same topic. Three times equal confirmation!

What did this mean?

So I’ve had an increase in work from the previous year (some greens) and published another book. One of my goals in waiting was to start doing more motivational talks to different groups. I was honored to speak at the Martin Luther King holiday program, on the day of President Obama’s 2^nd inauguration in my town of residence, Leesburg Virginia. Journeying back to my hometown, I spoke for ‘Women’s Day’ at one of the local churches. One of my other books, For People of Strength, Soul, and Spirit: Seven Guidelines for Life & Career Success, was listed as suggested reading to an Ebony magazine article in March 2013. Just to name a couple of other victories, I attended the dedication of a statue to Frederick Douglas in Emancipation Hall of the US Capitol on Juneteenth and positioned myself at both 50^th anniversary programs for the March on Washington. And….God called me to preach His word! I’m currently working on the process of getting licensed through my church, Mount Pleasant Baptist in Herndon Virginia.

My love of history, the Lord, my people, and my work has showed up in amazing ways— when He said so. A motto I developed for this year is Be Heard, Be Seen in 2013! With the Lord’s blessings, all of these pursuits will ‘enlarge my territory’ in the years to come.

So what are you waiting for? Plant it in your mind and reap in His appointed time.

 

Excerpted from my book, Tools to Cultivate the Promised Land: Working Wisdom from My Grandparents' Garden, November 2013 https://www.createspace.com/4302667